Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Touring, Accents w Muscles and Dominants
Here I go…here I go…here I go again
I spent a week with my son taking his little deep man voice, van wearing self on a HBCU college tour…we had a blast and he has 4 schools he likes but Virginia State is the one that stands out for him…
I think it’s mostly because they were having some sort of party at the student union complete with frat steppers and all that shit… methinks he thinks it’s a party school…which methinks is a bad thing. But I liked the campus so he won’t get a fight from me. I of course, opted for Hampton first and Howard second… but Hampton is a 6 year physical therapy program that I am gonna have a lot of convincing to get him to go back an attend there. Howard is Dudes alma mater…and as it so happened…Dude came and did the college tour for Howard… weird situation and even odd-er that I felt odd about it. Hmmm.
Coppin State
Morgan State
Bowie State
Howard
Virginia Union
Virginia State
Elizabeth City
Norfolk State
Hampton
University of Maryland, Eastern Shore
Delaware State
I was suppose to be chaperoning but the chaperoning gods looked down on me and realized that I am just not into teenagers that talk back and cuss… so I made sure my son was in the front with the guide, I made sure my son took notes, I made sure my son made nice with kappa alum, and I made sure that when the shit hit the fan at the hotel with a group of 55 teenagers…my son was not caught up in who was in who’s room.
I tell you these young chicks ain’t no joke. My son has a future…and it’s not with some fast ass on a college tour… I don’t think….lol
We had fun and when he left on Saturday…he told me he didn’t want to go back…and even though our plan was for him to move east after high school…to finish high school in one school… he told me he wanted to finish his senior year in the east with me. He’s not going to school in New York for nothing in the world!!!
Which means I have to get my shit right… so as luck would have it… I was up late last night enjoying my freedom to do what the fuck I want when I want… I didn’t go to bed last night until 5 this morning…I was sending out resumes.
This morning…a cool 6 hours after submitting said resume… I get a call back.
I have an interview in DC on Tuesday.
I am very excited and even more happy that I will be back down there to …hopefully contact other…contacts. I tell you, all I need is a 6 month sublet or roomie situation and I will be back on my feet… but it’s the housing I need to find first, before I try and sublease my spot.
Dude is coming up this weekend… more and more I resent him but for some stupid reason I can’t … I just can’t...
He doesn’t encourage me.
He hasn’t offered to help me even though he lives in Maryland…matter of fact…he doesn’t talk about it at all…
I know why, he thinks if he doesn’t talk about it…then I won’t come…as if me coming there is dependant on whether he wants me there. His silly ass hasn’t realized that this was my plan before he came into the picture and that being around my family is more important to me than if he is around.
He also doesn’t know about my past “relationships” down there. He thinks he is my reason. He’ll get it soon enough that…me moving that way… will probably solidify the end of us. I am marriage minded at this point…and he and I…couldn’t be married…to each other.
With that said, since he is just a every once in a while type of guy…him hanging in NYC with me doesn’t do too much damage…not too much. Although, more times than not we are fueding…and there is usually an uncomfortable-ness that makes being in my own space icky. This weekend is different because of Tuesday… he doesn’t know and I may not tell him but it’s like I have a trick up my sleeve… but I don’t... but it feels like it.
We are going to the Orgy show on Friday night. Its brand new shit…some cabaret shit. No actual orgying going on.
Although, I am sure he’d like that…remember I told you about the swinger in him…before.
Not before before but before recently that is.
Yea, should have jumped ship when that info came out but… hopes and dreams…at this point…totally deferred.
Tonight I have a meeting of sorts… I require a sponsor at this point…and sponsorship is what my meeting is about. I may have to write it out in grant form so that funding isn’t misconstrued as ownership. Yea Kev, I have been thinking a lot about this since our talk. Although, still waiting on your decision…heeheehee
We are headed to SushiSamba. I don’t eat sushi but…when looking for funding you let the one with money decide on where they want to eat. I figure I can always order teriyaki or tempura… as long as he’s paying…I’m good.
A woman has got to keep her 250 weight up if you know what I mean…lol
So tonight I will listen to his extreme accent and try to decipher what the fuck he is saying…or I can just smile and nod like a good little geisha and just stare at his muscles. He’s very nice to look at although his head might be a tad to big for…whatever…just big! And his hands might not be as big as I like them to be…but I have to admit…if I have to walk around with a non-english speaking someone or another…at least he looks good. He’s a gym rat… which might scare me in the long run because you know… them be lovin’ the gym…it’s their meat market.
I met dude last year this time…have talked to him maybe 6 times between now and then…and actually…it’s more along the lines of text him…not talk. I am wondering why I didn’t continue to keep in contact…
Ahhh, I remember now…
Me drunk…and he didn’t take advantage of that…score a gold star for him…
But it might have been that I truly can’t understand what the fuck he says, or that he is totally in love with his own damn body unbuttoning his shirt to his navel so everyone can see his beautiful chest (and it is a beautiful chest), or it might be that he chose to spend the day with his two kids instead of me one Saturday (I know that is totally selfish…but look who’s blog you are reading!), or because back then… the word spaghetti had more meaning than anything he happened to accently mumble out.
Sidenote: Feel free to use any of my Blah-ese… it can’t be found in the dictionary but we all understand what I am saying.
So in speaking…
Sindenote Again: From here on out when I say that I have spoken to someone…I probably haven’t…I’ve text’d them and that’s the only type of conversation we’ve had. I hate the phone…and since job isn’t footing the cell bill anymore…you get me. So unless you are got denaros towards my cell bill…text me…it’s unlimited!
...in speaking with Fireman… I casually mentioned needing rope… him being a fireman and all…thought he came by that shit often. That conversation turned into something more than the original inquiry.
Men! Why can I not have a decent Japanese erotic bondage conversation with one of you without you getting freaking excited???
…he has some red rope to give me… would seem that he is well versed in the ways of bondage via my same book by Mistress Midori.
Jinxy, he is always one up on me…fucking freak!
He went into a soliloquy about me being a top like him but when we (tops) finally gave in we would enjoy the experience even more than the bottom.
Ok…all that bondage-ese wasn’t included in said book…so from what I thought a “top” was…(man on top) and a bottom (man on bottom) he had me fucked because then I was thinking he was a top to a man bottom… yea, I confuse myself sometimes too.
Needless to say…
top = dominant, bottom = submissive
I don’t know why I didn’t know this little bit of common knowledge. After all…me and all my worldly lessons and freakish ways, you’d think I’dda came across that verbiage at some point regarding male/female relations…not just same sex relations. Huh…who’da thunk.
I am giving him a 6-pack of Stella for a bottle of champagne and some red rope. Fair enough trade considering…
So that is my tale… I mean…I could tell more…but already my fingers have typed to much and I still have to get ready…I have a meeting in 3 hours dammit!
I spent a week with my son taking his little deep man voice, van wearing self on a HBCU college tour…we had a blast and he has 4 schools he likes but Virginia State is the one that stands out for him…
I think it’s mostly because they were having some sort of party at the student union complete with frat steppers and all that shit… methinks he thinks it’s a party school…which methinks is a bad thing. But I liked the campus so he won’t get a fight from me. I of course, opted for Hampton first and Howard second… but Hampton is a 6 year physical therapy program that I am gonna have a lot of convincing to get him to go back an attend there. Howard is Dudes alma mater…and as it so happened…Dude came and did the college tour for Howard… weird situation and even odd-er that I felt odd about it. Hmmm.
Coppin State
Morgan State
Bowie State
Howard
Virginia Union
Virginia State
Elizabeth City
Norfolk State
Hampton
University of Maryland, Eastern Shore
Delaware State
I was suppose to be chaperoning but the chaperoning gods looked down on me and realized that I am just not into teenagers that talk back and cuss… so I made sure my son was in the front with the guide, I made sure my son took notes, I made sure my son made nice with kappa alum, and I made sure that when the shit hit the fan at the hotel with a group of 55 teenagers…my son was not caught up in who was in who’s room.
I tell you these young chicks ain’t no joke. My son has a future…and it’s not with some fast ass on a college tour… I don’t think….lol
We had fun and when he left on Saturday…he told me he didn’t want to go back…and even though our plan was for him to move east after high school…to finish high school in one school… he told me he wanted to finish his senior year in the east with me. He’s not going to school in New York for nothing in the world!!!
Which means I have to get my shit right… so as luck would have it… I was up late last night enjoying my freedom to do what the fuck I want when I want… I didn’t go to bed last night until 5 this morning…I was sending out resumes.
This morning…a cool 6 hours after submitting said resume… I get a call back.
I have an interview in DC on Tuesday.
I am very excited and even more happy that I will be back down there to …hopefully contact other…contacts. I tell you, all I need is a 6 month sublet or roomie situation and I will be back on my feet… but it’s the housing I need to find first, before I try and sublease my spot.
Dude is coming up this weekend… more and more I resent him but for some stupid reason I can’t … I just can’t...
He doesn’t encourage me.
He hasn’t offered to help me even though he lives in Maryland…matter of fact…he doesn’t talk about it at all…
I know why, he thinks if he doesn’t talk about it…then I won’t come…as if me coming there is dependant on whether he wants me there. His silly ass hasn’t realized that this was my plan before he came into the picture and that being around my family is more important to me than if he is around.
He also doesn’t know about my past “relationships” down there. He thinks he is my reason. He’ll get it soon enough that…me moving that way… will probably solidify the end of us. I am marriage minded at this point…and he and I…couldn’t be married…to each other.
With that said, since he is just a every once in a while type of guy…him hanging in NYC with me doesn’t do too much damage…not too much. Although, more times than not we are fueding…and there is usually an uncomfortable-ness that makes being in my own space icky. This weekend is different because of Tuesday… he doesn’t know and I may not tell him but it’s like I have a trick up my sleeve… but I don’t... but it feels like it.
We are going to the Orgy show on Friday night. Its brand new shit…some cabaret shit. No actual orgying going on.
Although, I am sure he’d like that…remember I told you about the swinger in him…before.
Not before before but before recently that is.
Yea, should have jumped ship when that info came out but… hopes and dreams…at this point…totally deferred.
Tonight I have a meeting of sorts… I require a sponsor at this point…and sponsorship is what my meeting is about. I may have to write it out in grant form so that funding isn’t misconstrued as ownership. Yea Kev, I have been thinking a lot about this since our talk. Although, still waiting on your decision…heeheehee
We are headed to SushiSamba. I don’t eat sushi but…when looking for funding you let the one with money decide on where they want to eat. I figure I can always order teriyaki or tempura… as long as he’s paying…I’m good.
A woman has got to keep her 250 weight up if you know what I mean…lol
So tonight I will listen to his extreme accent and try to decipher what the fuck he is saying…or I can just smile and nod like a good little geisha and just stare at his muscles. He’s very nice to look at although his head might be a tad to big for…whatever…just big! And his hands might not be as big as I like them to be…but I have to admit…if I have to walk around with a non-english speaking someone or another…at least he looks good. He’s a gym rat… which might scare me in the long run because you know… them be lovin’ the gym…it’s their meat market.
I met dude last year this time…have talked to him maybe 6 times between now and then…and actually…it’s more along the lines of text him…not talk. I am wondering why I didn’t continue to keep in contact…
Ahhh, I remember now…
Me drunk…and he didn’t take advantage of that…score a gold star for him…
But it might have been that I truly can’t understand what the fuck he says, or that he is totally in love with his own damn body unbuttoning his shirt to his navel so everyone can see his beautiful chest (and it is a beautiful chest), or it might be that he chose to spend the day with his two kids instead of me one Saturday (I know that is totally selfish…but look who’s blog you are reading!), or because back then… the word spaghetti had more meaning than anything he happened to accently mumble out.
Sidenote: Feel free to use any of my Blah-ese… it can’t be found in the dictionary but we all understand what I am saying.
So in speaking…
Sindenote Again: From here on out when I say that I have spoken to someone…I probably haven’t…I’ve text’d them and that’s the only type of conversation we’ve had. I hate the phone…and since job isn’t footing the cell bill anymore…you get me. So unless you are got denaros towards my cell bill…text me…it’s unlimited!
...in speaking with Fireman… I casually mentioned needing rope… him being a fireman and all…thought he came by that shit often. That conversation turned into something more than the original inquiry.
Men! Why can I not have a decent Japanese erotic bondage conversation with one of you without you getting freaking excited???
…he has some red rope to give me… would seem that he is well versed in the ways of bondage via my same book by Mistress Midori.
Jinxy, he is always one up on me…fucking freak!
He went into a soliloquy about me being a top like him but when we (tops) finally gave in we would enjoy the experience even more than the bottom.
Ok…all that bondage-ese wasn’t included in said book…so from what I thought a “top” was…(man on top) and a bottom (man on bottom) he had me fucked because then I was thinking he was a top to a man bottom… yea, I confuse myself sometimes too.
Needless to say…
top = dominant, bottom = submissive
I don’t know why I didn’t know this little bit of common knowledge. After all…me and all my worldly lessons and freakish ways, you’d think I’dda came across that verbiage at some point regarding male/female relations…not just same sex relations. Huh…who’da thunk.
I am giving him a 6-pack of Stella for a bottle of champagne and some red rope. Fair enough trade considering…
So that is my tale… I mean…I could tell more…but already my fingers have typed to much and I still have to get ready…I have a meeting in 3 hours dammit!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Is He Watching Me Walk Away...
I am walking away... for a while...not forever...but I ain't got shit to say 'rit na!
B~E~Z
B~E~Z
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Espanol and Head
There is a scene in Knocked Up where KatherineHeigel and her sister go up to the club…
The Sister: I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line, who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls.
The Doorman: It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a midget in the crowd.
This is why I don’t go to clubs anymore. I am too damn old. I do.not.care. I am not going to a club. First off, I’m not waiting on line. Didn’t have to do it back in the day, don’t want to do it now. Back in the day I was hot as fuck though…these days…I think I am the “as fuck” part and no longer hot. Either way, I’m not being passed over for some euro trash-skinny-as-fuck-bleached-out-blonde-bad-acne-from-anorexia-or-too-many-drugs skank!
Plus, half those bitches sucking doorman dick in the back alley to make sure that they get to pass through the ever lovely velvet rope…as this guy wrote about. I am just not down for giving random head to a random dude. I don’t know, that’s just not me. Not knockin’ if you do (in front of you)…hey if that’s your thing…and your thing works for you…even when you are alone in your home with nothing but you and your thoughts…then I am all for it. Just don’t expect every female out there to do the same shit. I’m funny like that…basic dudes aren’t fucking me in my face just because I want to get into some bitchass-overpriced-pretentious place.
Which brings us to…
Next topic… giving head.
Dare I say I was a pro at that…dare I say an expert.
I was like Serena with a stick in my hand…
As my poem, Ode to Dick…you could tell that I liked that shit.
I was old school like VanessaDelRio…sloppy and all over the place…slobbering and moaning and working shit…out!
Even to this day…I likes me some dick up in my mouth. You all know I have texture issues…but a dick…in it’s small and humble state…feels great but when it starts to come to life and stretch and stretch…and grow and grow…well that textured experience is something all together beautiful.
Yea, I used to be real good at giving head.
These days… I gag on my toothbrush every single morning…and every single night.
I don’t get it.
Spanish!…tired of these NY muthaeffas thinking I am Dominican, walking up to me and speaking Spanish…and then getting an attitude because I don’t know it. Regardless how I explain that I am half black and half Native American…they ass can’t comprehend that I Do Not Speak Spanish. So, since I can’t change my look…I figured I’d join ‘em.
So I’mma fake the funk and learn some espanol, Spanish for Dummies style. Pretty soon I will be conversing with my fellow Dominicans and Puerto Ricans…kicking the Spanish vocab…I may even fade outta black…go from daddy to papi on Dude.
Here’s a picture of “where the magic happens”…I know you all have seen my bed a million times but I liked the shadows in this one…bed has junk on it…and try not to focus in on the white bra…but all the other surroundings…lol
New pool league starts May 15…so I am putting in practice time at the local (not so local since it’s a train ride and 5 block walk) billiard spot. Gots to get my game back up…so I can win me a cruise somewhere. Plus, I know that my other hobbies didn’t quite take…my pool game for the past 6 years has kept my interest.
…whereas my-new-hobby-that-I-never-started of crotcheting hasn’t really enthused me enough to pick up some needles. I generally use the needles I bought as Chinese chopsticks to put my hair up… c’est la vie.
So, I have one of my cues in the shop to get a new tip put on…and here is my old faithful, I believe y’all have met before…when I let FLAT RANDY hang out with me on league night.
Here is a pic of some of my wall hangings… Miles and Gillespie… Everyone usually has black and whites of jazz artist... I like my shit colorful. These are made out of wood...heavy as hell...I should have opted for the framed prints, but naw, my ass had to be diff...and from what I remember, ended up breaking a couple of fingernails when I hung them. I've seen these everywhere latley though...wack. There is one of Coltrane and Ella...but I saw them once and didn't get 'em and now I haven't been able to run across them again...wack.
I am done for today…
Oh, I found some super long black shoelaces that the boys left here… It actually looks like miniature rope on Rusty. I am back in the erotic rope practicing game…Photos will come once I master tying a little stuffed animal up with shoelaces.
B~E~Z
The Sister: I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line, who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls.
The Doorman: It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a midget in the crowd.
This is why I don’t go to clubs anymore. I am too damn old. I do.not.care. I am not going to a club. First off, I’m not waiting on line. Didn’t have to do it back in the day, don’t want to do it now. Back in the day I was hot as fuck though…these days…I think I am the “as fuck” part and no longer hot. Either way, I’m not being passed over for some euro trash-skinny-as-fuck-bleached-out-blonde-bad-acne-from-anorexia-or-too-many-drugs skank!
Plus, half those bitches sucking doorman dick in the back alley to make sure that they get to pass through the ever lovely velvet rope…as this guy wrote about. I am just not down for giving random head to a random dude. I don’t know, that’s just not me. Not knockin’ if you do (in front of you)…hey if that’s your thing…and your thing works for you…even when you are alone in your home with nothing but you and your thoughts…then I am all for it. Just don’t expect every female out there to do the same shit. I’m funny like that…basic dudes aren’t fucking me in my face just because I want to get into some bitchass-overpriced-pretentious place.
Which brings us to…
Next topic… giving head.
Dare I say I was a pro at that…dare I say an expert.
I was like Serena with a stick in my hand…
As my poem, Ode to Dick…you could tell that I liked that shit.
I was old school like VanessaDelRio…sloppy and all over the place…slobbering and moaning and working shit…out!
Even to this day…I likes me some dick up in my mouth. You all know I have texture issues…but a dick…in it’s small and humble state…feels great but when it starts to come to life and stretch and stretch…and grow and grow…well that textured experience is something all together beautiful.
Yea, I used to be real good at giving head.
These days… I gag on my toothbrush every single morning…and every single night.
I don’t get it.
Spanish!…tired of these NY muthaeffas thinking I am Dominican, walking up to me and speaking Spanish…and then getting an attitude because I don’t know it. Regardless how I explain that I am half black and half Native American…they ass can’t comprehend that I Do Not Speak Spanish. So, since I can’t change my look…I figured I’d join ‘em.
So I’mma fake the funk and learn some espanol, Spanish for Dummies style. Pretty soon I will be conversing with my fellow Dominicans and Puerto Ricans…kicking the Spanish vocab…I may even fade outta black…go from daddy to papi on Dude.
I don't care how straight my hair is...I'm black (ISH) dammit!! Either way...I ain't spanish, hawaiian, asian, filapino... I'm black with a splash of NA...or rather...Native American with a splash of black...lol
Here’s a picture of “where the magic happens”…I know you all have seen my bed a million times but I liked the shadows in this one…bed has junk on it…and try not to focus in on the white bra…but all the other surroundings…lol New pool league starts May 15…so I am putting in practice time at the local (not so local since it’s a train ride and 5 block walk) billiard spot. Gots to get my game back up…so I can win me a cruise somewhere. Plus, I know that my other hobbies didn’t quite take…my pool game for the past 6 years has kept my interest.…whereas my-new-hobby-that-I-never-started of crotcheting hasn’t really enthused me enough to pick up some needles. I generally use the needles I bought as Chinese chopsticks to put my hair up… c’est la vie.
So, I have one of my cues in the shop to get a new tip put on…and here is my old faithful, I believe y’all have met before…when I let FLAT RANDY hang out with me on league night.
Here is a pic of some of my wall hangings… Miles and Gillespie… Everyone usually has black and whites of jazz artist... I like my shit colorful. These are made out of wood...heavy as hell...I should have opted for the framed prints, but naw, my ass had to be diff...and from what I remember, ended up breaking a couple of fingernails when I hung them. I've seen these everywhere latley though...wack. There is one of Coltrane and Ella...but I saw them once and didn't get 'em and now I haven't been able to run across them again...wack.
I am done for today…Oh, I found some super long black shoelaces that the boys left here… It actually looks like miniature rope on Rusty. I am back in the erotic rope practicing game…Photos will come once I master tying a little stuffed animal up with shoelaces.
B~E~Z
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Rope, Music and Rolling 'Round a Stadium Floor
I’m a damn fool and I know it but…fuck it. If you can’t laugh at yourself…who the hell is gonna know how funny you can be…lol
I tied up Rusty…did some ol’ erotic Japanese bondage on his lil brown ass. I think I did it entirely too loose but…it’s not like he was cooperating. Just laying there and taking shit like a good little submissive. Next thing you know…he’s going to have me parading him around the apartment on a chain while he is down on all fours.
So here is my picture of my new fixation…my new fetish.
I swear…I promise…
One day I am going to be really good at this…AND use an actual person…one day. And real rope instead of ribbon.
So in between being totally bored and learning to tie up Rusty… I have been trying to experience all that my little bitty studio has to offer…
I picked up my guitar and tried to learn from the DVD it came with.
Either I need to exercise my hands and fingers or I need to invest in a kiddie guitar rather than a grown persons…’cause my hands can’t grasp the neck of the guitar.
One of my “lines”…my hands are small; everything looks big in them.
Unfortunately, in this case it’s very true…whereas before, I’ve held things that actually looked the same size as my hands…if you know what I mean.
I have been walking in CentralPark and making it part of my quest to not slip into depression. Only problem is that every time I step out of the house I spend money. But I have been trying to at least get some fresh air. Staying hold up in this damn apartment is driving crazy. Now I know you all are like…how the hell can you be bored in New York City. Well, if it was warm…then I would be out everywhere…but I hate dressing in layers…I don’t like sitting on a freezing bench in a big ass park. During the cold and dreary days, that’s not sexy, as much as it makes one look like one is depressed.
Either way, there is this place in Central Park that is a walking path all the way around; called The Reservoir…everyone knows the rules and generally anyone on it is walking or running in the same direction around… me on the other hand, day of these pics I was walking the opposite direction…I wanted to make sure I got the best pics for my blog fam.
I have caught a few baseball games… went to a Yankee game with Dude. Yanks lost but the day was absolutely beautiful. The warmest day of the year so far…well, that was last Saturday… yesterday was 75 I think. I am not sure but I think we might have been feuding that day, as is our running theme.
I went to the opening night of the Mets stadium… new stadiums have been constructed for both Yankee and Shea. So this year is a good year to go to any games since this is the last season in either of them. Helps if you like drinking beer and shouting out the shit-talk to the opposing team. This guy in the green shirt actually fought over a foul ball and was the victor…then his idiot ass threw it back onto the field. I am only sayin’…if you are gonna wrestle on the damn ground over a damn ball, why would you throw it back onto the field. The police came down to escort him out because throwing stuff on the field is not allowed. As stupid as the act was…everyone around him (including moi) proceeded to boo the copper as we told him to leave the guy alone. NY’s Finest let him stay but gave him a stern talking to…lol
Mets game was a little more eventful in that it misted/rained, it was an evening game, I sat next to these two big ass beautiful tatoo’d white guys who kept flirting with me...and I think I may have drank 9 beers. I was sitting down on field level but the seats weren’t all that great and me being a wee bit o’ girl…had to stand up every time the ball was hit. I actually had more fun at the Mets game but enjoyed the company of Dude at the Yankee game. I can’t wait until it’s warmer and I start going to afternoon games by myself.
Today I am headed to a bowling thing for the Squares and Stars… To be one, ask one. So I am looking forward to that. Just because I am very interested into meeting…men-z! lol
I tied up Rusty…did some ol’ erotic Japanese bondage on his lil brown ass. I think I did it entirely too loose but…it’s not like he was cooperating. Just laying there and taking shit like a good little submissive. Next thing you know…he’s going to have me parading him around the apartment on a chain while he is down on all fours.
So here is my picture of my new fixation…my new fetish.
I swear…I promise…One day I am going to be really good at this…AND use an actual person…one day. And real rope instead of ribbon.
So in between being totally bored and learning to tie up Rusty… I have been trying to experience all that my little bitty studio has to offer…
I picked up my guitar and tried to learn from the DVD it came with.
Either I need to exercise my hands and fingers or I need to invest in a kiddie guitar rather than a grown persons…’cause my hands can’t grasp the neck of the guitar.
One of my “lines”…my hands are small; everything looks big in them.
Unfortunately, in this case it’s very true…whereas before, I’ve held things that actually looked the same size as my hands…if you know what I mean.
I have been walking in CentralPark and making it part of my quest to not slip into depression. Only problem is that every time I step out of the house I spend money. But I have been trying to at least get some fresh air. Staying hold up in this damn apartment is driving crazy. Now I know you all are like…how the hell can you be bored in New York City. Well, if it was warm…then I would be out everywhere…but I hate dressing in layers…I don’t like sitting on a freezing bench in a big ass park. During the cold and dreary days, that’s not sexy, as much as it makes one look like one is depressed.Either way, there is this place in Central Park that is a walking path all the way around; called The Reservoir…everyone knows the rules and generally anyone on it is walking or running in the same direction around… me on the other hand, day of these pics I was walking the opposite direction…I wanted to make sure I got the best pics for my blog fam.
I have caught a few baseball games… went to a Yankee game with Dude. Yanks lost but the day was absolutely beautiful. The warmest day of the year so far…well, that was last Saturday… yesterday was 75 I think. I am not sure but I think we might have been feuding that day, as is our running theme.I went to the opening night of the Mets stadium… new stadiums have been constructed for both Yankee and Shea. So this year is a good year to go to any games since this is the last season in either of them. Helps if you like drinking beer and shouting out the shit-talk to the opposing team. This guy in the green shirt actually fought over a foul ball and was the victor…then his idiot ass threw it back onto the field. I am only sayin’…if you are gonna wrestle on the damn ground over a damn ball, why would you throw it back onto the field. The police came down to escort him out because throwing stuff on the field is not allowed. As stupid as the act was…everyone around him (including moi) proceeded to boo the copper as we told him to leave the guy alone. NY’s Finest let him stay but gave him a stern talking to…lol
Mets game was a little more eventful in that it misted/rained, it was an evening game, I sat next to these two big ass beautiful tatoo’d white guys who kept flirting with me...and I think I may have drank 9 beers. I was sitting down on field level but the seats weren’t all that great and me being a wee bit o’ girl…had to stand up every time the ball was hit. I actually had more fun at the Mets game but enjoyed the company of Dude at the Yankee game. I can’t wait until it’s warmer and I start going to afternoon games by myself.
And while Dude wasn't looking...I snuck a picture of some eye candy. I thought dude in the brown looked sorta...niiiice. But my girl friend seems to think the guy in orange is cute...me? Blah
Today I am headed to a bowling thing for the Squares and Stars… To be one, ask one. So I am looking forward to that. Just because I am very interested into meeting…men-z! lolI have more stories of nights hanging out and drunken behavior...it's a fact that it's become a part of my daily living...my stories seem to be meshing together, so until I can separate them...it's all one big ol' glob of drunken revelry that makes no sense in my mind.
So I will have to get back to you once I have figured out what place, person, event, day goes together.
I tell ya....it's not easy being single, jobless and sexy in the city...
Thursday, April 10, 2008
A New Thing
Shibari - the battle between contrasts: beauty and fear, love and endurance, desire and despair, mental growth and embarrassment, pain and lust.
So…I have this new desire. Something that is considered erotic art.I want to learn it and I want to really be good at it!Not sure what that is about but I want to try this. I have been doing some research…next thing I need to do is go in and see it done...in techno color if you will.
For now…
I have ordered this book...
Yea, right now I am on some other shit…and maybe it’s because I have experienced so many other extremes that I need to try this one. Now to most this isn’t an extreme...but if y’all will remember the post about going to the MuseumOfSex here in NYC…you’ll understand that I push the envelope in most areas dealing with sex… sexual desires.
I am very aware of who I am when it comes to me and my body…and what my body likes.
Well…this “art” isn't what I am use to… and may even be more extreme than what I am use to because I am not too keen on constriction. Being bound. Matter of facto, I really hate being held… captive, hostage, tied, constrained…it scares me!...scares me to not have control. ‘Cause believe me, believe me, I am always in control in the act…even when I don’t have my full faculties… I only allow what I am ready to receive. So I am not talking hardcore...but some mutual shit that pushes the envelope for both of us...but doesn't humiliate either of us.
I have been told that I don't give up control easily... on a few ocassions...
So this new thing that has me sort of tingling… is borderline insane in my head…but to sort of confessing to being borderline insane… it excites me!
So, I have ordered my purple and turquoise rope (because both look good against my skin)… and I am about to explore some other shit…some next level shit…
I just hope that I don’t get caught up in this world… hope that I just take it as another part of being aware of MY sexuality…Wednesday, April 9, 2008
BlondeBettyOohWee
My hair is blonde down there. Hehehe…
Yea, this is me being bored at a time that no one is seeing, the randomness of my shopping days at the local DuaneReade. While perusing the aisles (as if I had copious amounts of cash) I look at everything…everything. I mean, hell, I have all the time in the world these days to do a lot of…nothing. So I just walked by a store and then doubled back and went in.
So, there was no real reason for me to be in this particular store on this particular day…but I was.
Starting at the first aisle...the one closest to the door…looking at all kinds of cosmetics that I only wear when I go out. I mean, I don’t walk out of my front door without eyeliner, mascara or lip stuff on… But the other shit…eye shadow, foundation, blush or even liquid liner, well that is used for nights of going out and only when I am feeling glamorous…which is not that often. Either way, this day…I have decided to take my time walking the aisle because…who knows what might strike my fancy. Again, as if I had copious amounts of cash.
Here I am, on my third aisle with a good 7 more to go…but I have just found some shit that has me smiling like a freakin’ loon. I’ve seen it before and I think I may have sent 1969 an email once telling her she should spark her marriage bed with a hot pink. She laughed and of course told me Hell No…lol Since then…2 years ago, I haven’t even thought about it again… but now, it’s here in front of me…
Yea, this is me being bored at a time that no one is seeing, the randomness of my shopping days at the local DuaneReade. While perusing the aisles (as if I had copious amounts of cash) I look at everything…everything. I mean, hell, I have all the time in the world these days to do a lot of…nothing. So I just walked by a store and then doubled back and went in.
So, there was no real reason for me to be in this particular store on this particular day…but I was.
Starting at the first aisle...the one closest to the door…looking at all kinds of cosmetics that I only wear when I go out. I mean, I don’t walk out of my front door without eyeliner, mascara or lip stuff on… But the other shit…eye shadow, foundation, blush or even liquid liner, well that is used for nights of going out and only when I am feeling glamorous…which is not that often. Either way, this day…I have decided to take my time walking the aisle because…who knows what might strike my fancy. Again, as if I had copious amounts of cash.
Here I am, on my third aisle with a good 7 more to go…but I have just found some shit that has me smiling like a freakin’ loon. I’ve seen it before and I think I may have sent 1969 an email once telling her she should spark her marriage bed with a hot pink. She laughed and of course told me Hell No…lol Since then…2 years ago, I haven’t even thought about it again… but now, it’s here in front of me…
And now... my hair is blonde down there. Hehehe
Thursday, April 3, 2008
A Couple of Days
Other people laugh and joke...make light of an evening out. After all, it’s good times… laughing and losing yourself in beats that hopefully make you forget all the things that the sun brings and falling into the high that drinks can give you.At least that’s the concept, the thought, the reasons why we party.
I drink and dance to lose myself. Really lose myself. Hoping to lose myself.
I went on a two day trip. Kissed. Drank. Played pool. Fucked. And woke up with a hangover and came home.
Is that reckless?
I knew who I was kissing.
3 Persephones and a SamAdams.
Condoms were used.
So, it wasn’t as reckless as it could have been… as much as I had hoped it would be. I sort of want to be wild. Sort of.
I’m single dammit.
I should be doing single shit yo!
That’s the beauty in being single, right… doing what you want when you want.
I used to love this part of being single. Used to revel in single-ness.
Part of me still yearns for freedom… not being accountable to anyone.
Part of me still twinges every time someone asks me… Where have you been? Where were you? Who are you going with?
My first thought is to tell him to stop asking me so many fucking questions… it takes me a minute to control my mouth to say something a little less abrasive. This of course leaves a big pause…which of course comes across as me telling a lie…about to tell a lie. Which I don’t…I tell the truth but… it’s that damn pause that always leaves a little doubt in his mind.
His mind.
That’s not being single. That’s not being selfish. You see, I care about leaving doubt in his mind.
I thought about all the things I’ve needed to do to take away…this something that has settled under my skin.
It’s this itching feeling that I have.
I need to do something to stop the itching.
But
I took a small two day trip, to see someone that could have been someone special to me had I not already had someone special to concentrate on. Problem with that is, the someone special …just doesn’t think that I am all that special.
I’m still itching
