Monday, March 20, 2006
Afternoon Delight
Call me what you like but I give a fuck!
Yes, I may AT TIMES be a little stuck up, pretentioue and bougie....so what?! Get over it.
Yesterday I went to a Kappa Alpha Psi Annual brunch. Was simply lovely and the food was ...oh my gawd good!!! Slish and I were like 2 kids in a candy store when the desserts came out.
So on the way up Slish keeps telling me that no one will be checking for me and that there is going to be nothing but old men there....
dunt dunt daaaaaa...
Old men are my specialty...they are my forte if you will.
So manageable. Easier to handle and WAY less drama...generous and they allow more freedom than men my age.
Well, turns out....there are many many many men... many men! Some young, some old, fat, skinny, tall, short, married, single and some that are even gay...oops, did I say that out loud? Not a Kappa....gawd forbid....
ANYWAY.........
So as I am getting my masculine "fix" for the weekend.....I spot my prey. Nice, brown skinneded and tall. Dressed nicely ......... 'cept for the glasses...they looked a little pimp-done-switched-to-preacher glasses. Either way...worth looking at a bit wee closer.
Now mind you...since my blogger Boyfriend Venom was there...and I came with my blogger Jump-off Slish....I was a little low-key in my mackin'-playerism skills... Just casually making eye contact and making sure that I smile and hold that eye contact a tad bit longer than just the casual glance. After all, men are a little slow when it comes to flirting....but my blatant playerism would have been detected by VENOMS MOTHER who happened to be positioned so that she had to look past me to look at the rest of the ballroom. SIDENOTE: Thanks alot Venom! Since she would have saw my true licking-the-lips-and-winking scheme...I had to be on the "unda".....
So Mr. Man got up to go to the dessert line and as he walked by I held his eyes for a minute past too long...then very demurely, I lowered my eyes and smiled faintly...then slowly looked back up at him with a full on smile............he had slowed his pace and was still looking. He got the full effect of my....fake ass shy-girl act. I was feeling like a line from Me.moirs of a Ge.isha....almost stopped that man with a smile!
He smiled back.....like he wanted to come over and kiss me. Actually, I think it was with the look of... If-we-were-here-alone-and-I-knew-you....I'd-fuck-you-on-the-table-right-muthafucken-now!
Well maybe not that....but sumptin LIKE that....*blushing*
"A, you wanna go get some dessert? Come on!"
I let Slish stroll his little ass in there and then I walk 15 steps behind.... "Yes, fellas....I AM ALONE....Slasher is not my man!....He's on the prowl...too. So, step right up manly-men and come play with me."
I get into the dessert line and my silly ass forgets that my future-backbreakin'-pornstar-partner is in there. I start filling my plate to tilt! So much so...that my Mr. Man comes to my end of the table and speaks to Slish...and I stay focused on piling my plate with cakes, pies, choclate mousse....I don't even hang around to get the correct introduction.....the introduction that could have had me being Mrs. Asstistant Principle.........damn my sweet tooth to hell!
Plate is full...and I head back to the table. Slish comes over and says something to the effect of........."he's your type! Your silly ass cut out before I could introduce you to him. I know him and so does Keith." AND I said back to him........"yea, he was my type.....but this chocolate mousse is MORE my type!!!" {This conversation was all paraphrased!}
I tell my blogger jump-off to intorduce me when we are leaving.....he says no! HATER!Then somewhere during the remainder of the afternoon...Slishy get's a heart. As we are leaving and after I had to checked my blogger boyfriend for bringing his "real-life" girlfriend and making me endure sitting in her presence while he gushes all over her.................
I follow Slish over to a table. I walk 20 paces behind Slishter as he heads to Mr. Man's table to say bye..................and to introduce moi.
"Mr. Man this is Bloopty Blop"..... I take his out-stretched hand to say hello while I am wearing a big wanna-eat-you-up smile and looking in his eyes..............and as he takes my hand in his hand
............it's with a limp wrist and a soft shake!
Gross!Yes, call me stuck up, pretentious and bougie............but I could care less about the make of your suit, the cut of your hair, the shine on your shoes..............a big 6'5, healthy grown ass man shake my hand with a limp wrist and a weak handshake and I am DONE!
Yes y'all.........Bloopty Blop has left the building.
Time to go home and finish playing wifey to DipSet............................but it was nice having eye-candy to look at for the afternoon.
Yes, I may AT TIMES be a little stuck up, pretentioue and bougie....so what?! Get over it.
Yesterday I went to a Kappa Alpha Psi Annual brunch. Was simply lovely and the food was ...oh my gawd good!!! Slish and I were like 2 kids in a candy store when the desserts came out.
So on the way up Slish keeps telling me that no one will be checking for me and that there is going to be nothing but old men there....
dunt dunt daaaaaa...
Old men are my specialty...they are my forte if you will.
So manageable. Easier to handle and WAY less drama...generous and they allow more freedom than men my age.
Well, turns out....there are many many many men... many men! Some young, some old, fat, skinny, tall, short, married, single and some that are even gay...oops, did I say that out loud? Not a Kappa....gawd forbid....
ANYWAY.........
So as I am getting my masculine "fix" for the weekend.....I spot my prey. Nice, brown skinneded and tall. Dressed nicely ......... 'cept for the glasses...they looked a little pimp-done-switched-to-preacher glasses. Either way...worth looking at a bit wee closer.
Now mind you...since my blogger Boyfriend Venom was there...and I came with my blogger Jump-off Slish....I was a little low-key in my mackin'-playerism skills... Just casually making eye contact and making sure that I smile and hold that eye contact a tad bit longer than just the casual glance. After all, men are a little slow when it comes to flirting....but my blatant playerism would have been detected by VENOMS MOTHER who happened to be positioned so that she had to look past me to look at the rest of the ballroom. SIDENOTE: Thanks alot Venom! Since she would have saw my true licking-the-lips-and-winking scheme...I had to be on the "unda".....
So Mr. Man got up to go to the dessert line and as he walked by I held his eyes for a minute past too long...then very demurely, I lowered my eyes and smiled faintly...then slowly looked back up at him with a full on smile............he had slowed his pace and was still looking. He got the full effect of my....fake ass shy-girl act. I was feeling like a line from Me.moirs of a Ge.isha....almost stopped that man with a smile!
He smiled back.....like he wanted to come over and kiss me. Actually, I think it was with the look of... If-we-were-here-alone-and-I-knew-you....I'd-fuck-you-on-the-table-right-muthafucken-now!
Well maybe not that....but sumptin LIKE that....*blushing*
"A, you wanna go get some dessert? Come on!"
I let Slish stroll his little ass in there and then I walk 15 steps behind.... "Yes, fellas....I AM ALONE....Slasher is not my man!....He's on the prowl...too. So, step right up manly-men and come play with me."
I get into the dessert line and my silly ass forgets that my future-backbreakin'-pornstar-partner is in there. I start filling my plate to tilt! So much so...that my Mr. Man comes to my end of the table and speaks to Slish...and I stay focused on piling my plate with cakes, pies, choclate mousse....I don't even hang around to get the correct introduction.....the introduction that could have had me being Mrs. Asstistant Principle.........damn my sweet tooth to hell!
Plate is full...and I head back to the table. Slish comes over and says something to the effect of........."he's your type! Your silly ass cut out before I could introduce you to him. I know him and so does Keith." AND I said back to him........"yea, he was my type.....but this chocolate mousse is MORE my type!!!" {This conversation was all paraphrased!}
I tell my blogger jump-off to intorduce me when we are leaving.....he says no! HATER!Then somewhere during the remainder of the afternoon...Slishy get's a heart. As we are leaving and after I had to checked my blogger boyfriend for bringing his "real-life" girlfriend and making me endure sitting in her presence while he gushes all over her.................
I follow Slish over to a table. I walk 20 paces behind Slishter as he heads to Mr. Man's table to say bye..................and to introduce moi.
"Mr. Man this is Bloopty Blop"..... I take his out-stretched hand to say hello while I am wearing a big wanna-eat-you-up smile and looking in his eyes..............and as he takes my hand in his hand
............it's with a limp wrist and a soft shake!
Gross!Yes, call me stuck up, pretentious and bougie............but I could care less about the make of your suit, the cut of your hair, the shine on your shoes..............a big 6'5, healthy grown ass man shake my hand with a limp wrist and a weak handshake and I am DONE!
Yes y'all.........Bloopty Blop has left the building.
Time to go home and finish playing wifey to DipSet............................but it was nice having eye-candy to look at for the afternoon.
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 1:29 PM
