Thursday, March 23, 2006
On Being Faithful
...I haven't been.
I haven't been faithful since I was married...that was 6 years ago.
The day I stopped being faithful (in my mind) was the day I walked in the house and my husband and his THEN girlfriend (my hairdresser) where sitting on the couch...at 7:30 at night.
I got off work 2 hours earlier than he expected.
Even though I didn't cheat for the remainder 8 years we were married...I could have. 'Cause sometimes...2 negatives do cancel eachother out....or at least, evens out the score.
Since then, I have not trusted any man. I have little respect for them at all. Regardless of where my heart is...my mind speaks...nay yells! at me to ....
...do me!
Here I am again...in the same situation that I was in ...rather...have been in since that day back in 1992.
Regardless of where my heart is..... he has pushed me to....
...do me.
I feel about him the way I did about my then husband...... he disgust me.
When you give so much....and people take advantage of it and take it as what's "supposed to be" rather than a desire from the other person....it sucks. Money spent, time spent, feelings have grown....I've invested in this relationship and you took that as being "due you". My investment is no longer an asset but a dire liability. My heart has given so much with no return ...I am in default.
Again...YOU did this. Aborted a love that would have grown to be one of the most precious things that you'd ever experienced had you...... just....believed. Short changing me on so many occassion....now
NOW!!
NOW!!
...your showing me little pieces of you that I fell in LOV-E with....NOW!!
that I am going.
I haven't been faithful in a while. Didn't believe that I needed to be. Found you....and wanted to be....but found instead....exactly what I've already had.....
an UNfaithful...
and now I am....hand in hand with you.
I have to do what I have to do and now....
NOW
...your gonna help me...and YOU want to.... for your own sordid reasons.
For me? It's my due...
I haven't been faithful since I was married...that was 6 years ago.
The day I stopped being faithful (in my mind) was the day I walked in the house and my husband and his THEN girlfriend (my hairdresser) where sitting on the couch...at 7:30 at night.
I got off work 2 hours earlier than he expected.
Even though I didn't cheat for the remainder 8 years we were married...I could have. 'Cause sometimes...2 negatives do cancel eachother out....or at least, evens out the score.
Since then, I have not trusted any man. I have little respect for them at all. Regardless of where my heart is...my mind speaks...nay yells! at me to ....
...do me!
Here I am again...in the same situation that I was in ...rather...have been in since that day back in 1992.
Regardless of where my heart is..... he has pushed me to....
...do me.
I feel about him the way I did about my then husband...... he disgust me.
When you give so much....and people take advantage of it and take it as what's "supposed to be" rather than a desire from the other person....it sucks. Money spent, time spent, feelings have grown....I've invested in this relationship and you took that as being "due you". My investment is no longer an asset but a dire liability. My heart has given so much with no return ...I am in default.
Again...YOU did this. Aborted a love that would have grown to be one of the most precious things that you'd ever experienced had you...... just....believed. Short changing me on so many occassion....now
NOW!!
NOW!!
...your showing me little pieces of you that I fell in LOV-E with....NOW!!
that I am going.
I haven't been faithful in a while. Didn't believe that I needed to be. Found you....and wanted to be....but found instead....exactly what I've already had.....
an UNfaithful...
and now I am....hand in hand with you.
I have to do what I have to do and now....
NOW
...your gonna help me...and YOU want to.... for your own sordid reasons.
For me? It's my due...
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 1:48 PM
