Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Some First...Part One
The first time a guy went down on me was NOT the first time that I had sex. I mean actual insertion. I was a virgin. I was very self conscious..after all...it's not like my daddy explained THAT part of the birds and the bees. He only explained the "basics"...and THIS....was not basic.
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I was deflowered when I was 18. I hated it. Was gross and it hurt and I bled and when I went to the bathroom afterwards...it stung. I hated the guy I lost my virginity to. He was my boyfriend for a year before we did "it". He taught me how to drive. I would go to the park with him at 2 in the morning and we'd drink Bartel's & James and lay in a blanket and look up at the stars together. He'd take me out to the airport and we'd sit on the hood and make up stories about the people flying off in the planes overhead. He took me to his church and I sat with his mother, brother and him.
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The first time I got drunk I think I was about 11 or 12. My dad had a party at the house...spades or something. I was suppose to be in the room with all the kids watching some movie or playing board games...something other than sneaking into the kitchen and taking sips of half drunken cups of alcohol. Sidenote: Now that I tell this story...I might have told it already on the Old Forgettable Shit Anyway....party was over and my cousins were leaving and my cousins asked if I could go spend the night. I spent the night over their house and ended up needing to be carried up their stairs when we got to their house....and I trew up in my cousins hair since I slept with her. Was gross. That night foretold many a night to come in the future.
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The first time I stole something I got caught. I was going for the big stuff....stole over $500 worth of bullshit. My daddy was a senator....so the cops new him. I never went to jail or court.
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The first job I had was making trails in the Uintah moutains in Utah. It was a summer job my grammy set me up with. I was 14 I think. I was gettng paid $16.00 and hour. It was an 8 hour work day. I loved and hated that job. Making good money at 14...yet, it was HARD work. Seriously. Manual labor for real for real. We'd have to clear out bushes, shrubs small trees then hoe down trails and smooth them out so people could hike without tripping over tree roots, bushes and whatnot. I saw some of the most beautiful picturesque scenes that no Ansel Adams photos could ever capture. Back then I was camping all the time with my dad...so I was fornutate enough to be able to appreciate what I saw. I remember there being a journal book at one of the ops of the moutain sitting on a rock in a plastic bag...whoever made it to the top of the moutain was encourage to write a few words and sign their name... I wonder who started that and how long that went on for...who has those journals? I could not tell you what moutain it was or how to get back...I wish I could. I rememeber it being beautiful.
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My first road trip was to Artesia, New Mexico. I saw horny toads...hard pointy backs but the smoothest underbellies imagine-able. How is that? That's the part that rests on the ground.... I remember sitting on the porch and my grandmother finding a rattle snake in the oven (oven was not on) and she killed it...then she threw it out the front door and I remember that snakes tail hitting me in the head..... Grammy's aim was a little off. Let me find out she did that shit on purpose...lol
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The first strip joint I went to, I was hounded by a petite little filapino chick. P.E.T.I.T.E. damn near tiny. Put us side by side and we'd look like sisters. That's probably why she wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. She danced on the stage...and wasn't good. But she danced for me! Men were throwing money on the stage and the whole time she stayed in front of me. Thought about that shit later and realized that shit was planned. Calculated. Women know what makes money and two asian "looking" chicks ...one dancing for the other with nothing but a g-string on...plays tricks on a man's mind especially if he has been drinking. After her dance she came off the stage and asked me if she could give me a dance....I said no. I am not paying no chick to shake her ass. She told me I didn't have to pay, she'd just dance for me. In the private room. In the back. Umma, she done scared me. I still declined. Later she danced on stage again....she did the same thing as before. SO... I took that bitch home and fucked her. Ok ok ok...I didn't, I was just seeing if you were paying attention!!! I left and was teased all night by my bestfriend and her husband.
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My first "internet" date ended 5 minutes after me meeting him in person. I looked at him and asked him how long ago the pictures he sent me were....he said a year or two. I told him he should have sent me an updated on and I told him it was nice meeting him and I got up and left.
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I was deflowered when I was 18. I hated it. Was gross and it hurt and I bled and when I went to the bathroom afterwards...it stung. I hated the guy I lost my virginity to. He was my boyfriend for a year before we did "it". He taught me how to drive. I would go to the park with him at 2 in the morning and we'd drink Bartel's & James and lay in a blanket and look up at the stars together. He'd take me out to the airport and we'd sit on the hood and make up stories about the people flying off in the planes overhead. He took me to his church and I sat with his mother, brother and him.
**********************
The first time I got drunk I think I was about 11 or 12. My dad had a party at the house...spades or something. I was suppose to be in the room with all the kids watching some movie or playing board games...something other than sneaking into the kitchen and taking sips of half drunken cups of alcohol. Sidenote: Now that I tell this story...I might have told it already on the Old Forgettable Shit Anyway....party was over and my cousins were leaving and my cousins asked if I could go spend the night. I spent the night over their house and ended up needing to be carried up their stairs when we got to their house....and I trew up in my cousins hair since I slept with her. Was gross. That night foretold many a night to come in the future.
*********************
The first time I stole something I got caught. I was going for the big stuff....stole over $500 worth of bullshit. My daddy was a senator....so the cops new him. I never went to jail or court.
*********************
The first job I had was making trails in the Uintah moutains in Utah. It was a summer job my grammy set me up with. I was 14 I think. I was gettng paid $16.00 and hour. It was an 8 hour work day. I loved and hated that job. Making good money at 14...yet, it was HARD work. Seriously. Manual labor for real for real. We'd have to clear out bushes, shrubs small trees then hoe down trails and smooth them out so people could hike without tripping over tree roots, bushes and whatnot. I saw some of the most beautiful picturesque scenes that no Ansel Adams photos could ever capture. Back then I was camping all the time with my dad...so I was fornutate enough to be able to appreciate what I saw. I remember there being a journal book at one of the ops of the moutain sitting on a rock in a plastic bag...whoever made it to the top of the moutain was encourage to write a few words and sign their name... I wonder who started that and how long that went on for...who has those journals? I could not tell you what moutain it was or how to get back...I wish I could. I rememeber it being beautiful.
*********************
My first road trip was to Artesia, New Mexico. I saw horny toads...hard pointy backs but the smoothest underbellies imagine-able. How is that? That's the part that rests on the ground.... I remember sitting on the porch and my grandmother finding a rattle snake in the oven (oven was not on) and she killed it...then she threw it out the front door and I remember that snakes tail hitting me in the head..... Grammy's aim was a little off. Let me find out she did that shit on purpose...lol
**********************
The first strip joint I went to, I was hounded by a petite little filapino chick. P.E.T.I.T.E. damn near tiny. Put us side by side and we'd look like sisters. That's probably why she wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. She danced on the stage...and wasn't good. But she danced for me! Men were throwing money on the stage and the whole time she stayed in front of me. Thought about that shit later and realized that shit was planned. Calculated. Women know what makes money and two asian "looking" chicks ...one dancing for the other with nothing but a g-string on...plays tricks on a man's mind especially if he has been drinking. After her dance she came off the stage and asked me if she could give me a dance....I said no. I am not paying no chick to shake her ass. She told me I didn't have to pay, she'd just dance for me. In the private room. In the back. Umma, she done scared me. I still declined. Later she danced on stage again....she did the same thing as before. SO... I took that bitch home and fucked her. Ok ok ok...I didn't, I was just seeing if you were paying attention!!! I left and was teased all night by my bestfriend and her husband.
******************
My first "internet" date ended 5 minutes after me meeting him in person. I looked at him and asked him how long ago the pictures he sent me were....he said a year or two. I told him he should have sent me an updated on and I told him it was nice meeting him and I got up and left.
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# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 1:07 PM
