Writing My Wrongs

I was told today that I pamper myself too much.
Huh? Wha...? Huh?
What could she have possibly meant by "too much"... personally, I think I could never pamper myself too much. Matter of fact, I don't do nearly all the things I use to do for myself.

Nik sent me an email about a spa package and I was thinking $110 for all that is a helluva good deal. So I called a friend of mine to tell her about it and that's where she was like... "you pamper yourself too much, you should save your money!" AND she said it with a little hateration in her voice. You know that voice, all high, naselly and huffy-puffy.

Now, I know y'all think you know a little about how I respond to BULLSHIT, so this won't come as a surprise...
I simply said..."with them rusty feet you scratch up your mans legs with...I'dda thought you'd take your feet and his legs out of their misery and get them shits sandblasted at some point....AND what the fuck you mean I should save my money....you don't know my fucking financial situation to make a side-of-the-neck comment like that!"

She din't take to kindly to my friendly observation. I have no idea why *batting my eye-lashes*...she knows her feet need...pampering?...naw, CONSTRUCTION.
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I was talking to Jullllliiiiaaaan the other week ago. Talking about sweaty balls and whatnot. I was at Lo.rd & T.aylor and I watched this woman lift her leg.....as if she were trying to get her sweaty ball off her leg/her dick/her other sweaty ball

Sidenote: what does the sweaty-ball-lifting-of-the-leg actually stick to?

...I busted out laughing while I was on the phone...I told Juuullliiiiaaaan what I saw and he said... don't woman do that? No idiot, we do not lift our leg to seperate our sweaty pussy lips (well damn, I hope no female I KNOW does that....*looking at my blogroll and wondering*) He proceeds to ask if we sweat down there.... ummm, yyyeeeeaaa....bud-da....not me. LOL
He laughs and says women DO sweat down there and they sweat so much that it trickles down their leg.

nuuu-uuuh, no sir! *I said it just like that...like a little kid...no sir!*

He swears up and down they do. Me? I am still adamant in saying chicks don't...not unless'en they are big girls. He said not true...all do. I left it alone and started asking how he know about the bodily functions of women and what he does to eleviate his sweaty-ball'd-ness. Baby powder perhaps? We laughed and then the conversation switched to him wanting...nay, liking to taste the sweat between my legs....UGH! I told him I couldn't hear him and that I had static...of course he laughed at me and said I was a big fat liar....
huh? me lie? Getdafugouttahere...I ain't neva lied!
Still static...aaaannnnnddddd...goodbye. LOL
He called me right back and left a message saying I am full of shit and he's gonna feast when he sees me.... hmmm, what did he mean by that?
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So the above story is prelude to this story....
I was standing on the train today and I felt something running down my inside thigh.....MY SUNSHINE WAS SWEATING ON THE "A" TRAIN.....damn him for jinxing my cooch! Granted, it was 104 today, which means that down on the subway platform...it was quadrupled....making it a gajillion degrees. So, my sunshine has the right to glisten...as long as she doesn't make a habit of that shit!
Then again, I've been on horny lately...coulda been my shit was so wet and I was clenching and unclenching my cooch that she may have came without no dick insertion or finger play or tongue massage.............................maybe that's what the trickle was........maybe.
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I was talking to Venom today about what an azz Slish is.... I told that man (the lil jamaican) that I didn't need for Venom to bring me to the BBQ. What that lil jamaican do?...calls Venom and begs him to "do the impossible".... yea, I put you on blast because you did it after I told you not to. AND you better be happy that's ALL I am putting you on blast for.... *batting eyelashes* Have fun at the BBQ! *sticking tongue out and getting spit all over you while I give you the Bx razz* Sidenote: for all you Slish fans....I ain't need to hear no she-ite, don't come to his defense....me and Slish go way back before most of y'all bloggers*
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Normally, I am very clean....almost fanatical about it....but
I ain't lifted a fucking finger in my joint for two weeks. 'Cept the toilet and bathtub. Other than that...bed is unmade, clothes all over the place, and I didn't realize how much I drink...I have like 15 glasses and cups in my sink...da hell I be drinking? 'Cause I ain't got a damn thing in my frig.
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One more pieace of pesonal information. Ok 3 more but they are all related to...thongs.
1. Today I had to wear a pair of lingerie panties because I am too lazy to go pick up my laundry from the wash house. Today I had on some bright yellow mesh panties from a babydoll I bought at VS.
2. I have 2 pair of full-booty draw'rs and 47 thongs, 6 tangas and 3 pairs of boy shorts. I need to buy more full-booty draw'rs before my ass catches a yeast infection. Then again...do you catch those or do they just form...or occur...or whatthefuckever.
3. Of those 47 pair of thongs....18 pairs are fucking to tight....does that mean they are too small, that mayhaps my waist and ass have gotten wider and flatter? Yes, my friend...you'd be correct. So I have 18 thongs that I could wear but it would be cutting off the air supply to Cooch...and gawd forbid my cooch should die of thong suffocation...hence, I have been wearing the lingerie panties (which really don't fit anyone because they are a "one size fit's all" or a generic S, M & L)
And since I did not AGAIN today go pick up the laundry...because why? It's a gajillion degrees...I will be wearing the non-fitting lingerie panties tomorrow. Which means...I will inevitably have to go to the store sometime tomorrow to buy some panties because it's suppose to be hotter tomorrow and I know my lil chubbyself ain't walking my little lazy flass around the corner to get my damn clothes...and although I could wear some more lingerie draw'rs on Friday...I will be seeing Zed for lunch and his little dirty perverted ass will have read this post and be thinking about me in lingerie the whole entire lunch! With that in mind, let me say this Zed....by Friday I should be wearing grandma draw'rs....and you know why women wear grandma draw'rs.............*yep...zaaaactly!* LMAO