Writing My Wrongs

Today is one of those days that I could lay in bed all day and watch tv…in between episodes of sleep.
Either that or…get out and got to the movies…which is more along the lines of what I want to do for the simple fact that if I stay home…I’ll be forced to clean my place.
Yea, I’d rather spend my Saturday inside of the movie house…jumping from movie to movie.

I want to be in love.

There I said it. Yes, I know…I’ve heard it all this week. Bloopty/BlahBlahBlah has gone all sensitive and shit. SO WHAT! Everybody does at some point or another. Yet, I have a reason…it’s about that time. Sidenote: Which sucks because I am leaving for Cal on Thursday and I have prime opportunity to re-examine some Cal dick! Now I can’t.

I was thinking about posting about these blogger boyfriends/girlfriends “relationships”. Not necessarily just the ones that are obvious…but also about the ones that aren’t obvious. I am talking about censoring your writing...so as not to "hurt" anyones feelings. Being "dedicated" to a piece of ass you haven't held, haven't kissed, haven't held hands with...and probably never will... I was gonna write about how on the internet we are all SUPERSTARS. We are who we wanna be on the net. Yea, I was gonna write a post about it...but “they” didn't want me stirring up the pot. I really shouldn’t care…since none of those bastards are checking for me…but I am amiable…I know how to go with the flow…stay within the status quo. I won’t mention how some people get hit offline like crazy by “lurkers” asking about SCH’s, or how some have women hoping that your as intelligent, cute, asshole-ish, caring as they think you are from the Eastcoast to the Westcoast. I won’t mention that her blog was filled with nasty and freaky and things that spark interest but since her man reads her now…she can’t help but now talk about other peoples shit rather than her own. Or how broads are stalking these dudes calling them internet crushes. I was told stirring the pot is what Blah does…but Bloopty knows to just sit back, keep her mouth shut and laugh at the internet “love” going on around her.

I didn’t eat yesterday…all day. So I woke up this morning starving…literally…lol I crawled out of bed feeling like I was gonna pass out. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to eat and seeing as how I felt like I could cook everything in my kitchen AND STILL be hungry, I ended up making salmon cakes, grits, a veggie omelette, and having 2 cups of coffee. No wonder my flass is spreading and my belly is getting so big I can’t see my cooch… *huge sigh* I’ll have to go lay down before I get out the house… *whew*

He’s begging….leaving messages and saying he cares. I see I am going to give in. Why? Because ….well….just because. Being single is nice….but there is a part of me that thinks being single is very ugly…lol Like it’s ugly on a day like today when I woke up horny with no money in my wallet. Shiiiiit, having no man is expensive as hell. Finding myself spending like crazy and then realize…I ain’t got a reserve bank anymore. Either way…I wanted to be fucked this morning…then I wanted to go shopping this afternoon, neither of which will happen today. Yea, this being single stuff is some ol’ bullshit.

The Event has called me every weekend for the past two months…I have yet to hang out with her. To use the great Leon’s words… Bitch is finer than a mutherfucker! I have been asking myself…why does this chick wanna connect soo bad. I keep thinking it’s because of her not being from here and reaching out to another person that’s not from NYC. Yet, the way our last “outing” turned out…she knows that I don’t get down with the … eating of the pudding pie. Then again, I am pretty sexually aware…and I don’t have that many restrictions in the bedroom…would I be up for her maintaining my sunshine until I found a man? Hmmmmm?.........hell no. I can’t even imagine how that scene even plays out…shit, how it even starts. I mean…what happens? I go over her house…she fills my belly on some pasta and wine…we sit and watch tv, she starts to massage my shoulders, leans down and kisses me lightly on the neck and then all the sudden she has my skirt pushed up around my waist and my panties between her teeth as she snakes her tongue out to ….. Yea, I can’t even picture how that would play out…LOL

Y’all woman ever have a friend who you know in your heart of hearts is gay. Deep down for real gay…but keeps tryna fuck you? Not lay up with you…not cuddle you…but true intercourse. I have had this friend for about 6 years now. I swear fa gawd…this man is gay. Yet, he has tried to eat it, fuck it, suck it…everything. I made this man get a room up in Tahoe one year…was just thinking about what he was bringing to the table … thought that maybe I could make this happen. Came to night of and I was in the bathroom tryna psych myself up about giving him some ass. I. just.couldn’t.do.it. I felt like shit because my ass knew before I even go there that I wasn’t gonna do it. But really…..in the back of my mind I thought I was some hard ass chick to be like…CHICK, YOU CAN DO THIS! Ha!! Didn’t happen but we are still friends. He works for a major hotel so I always use his friends and family discount when I go out of town… so I benefited in the end. ‘Cause had we did it…I would have inevitably fucked it up and we wouldn’t be speaking to eachother now. “Cause as much as I like to talk about sex…I ain’t a good lay AT ALL. I just let him crawl on top and do his bidness with nary a peep from me.

I could go on and on but I am starting to get the “itis” from all the breakfast food. SO I will end it with this ….

Don’t forget why you’re here, don’t forget why you came, stay focused and let no one deter you from your goal.

…..and I ammmmm
OUT!