Writing My Wrongs

I boarded a plane for New York City. 2 suitcases and 1 box. $400 in my pocket.
I was going to move into an apartment that I had never seen. Going to live in the Bronx...in an area I had never been to. 163rd off of the Grand Concourse (that's a main street in the Bx).

My initial dreams of moving out of Oakland were more along the lines of moving to the LA area. I figured that was safe and it was still in California...but not apart of California. You'd have to live there to know what I mean. There are people that live in both the North and South of California who have never ventured to either part. Their vibe, there attitude, their living are so very different. Again, you'd have to live there to know what I am talking about. So, moving to Los Angeles was where I was going to start my transition of moving away from Oakland...and then maybe out of the state of Cal.

However, an eastern facing window of oppurtunity opened for me. Actually, I made an oppurtunity happen. I cultivated it. I entertained it. I manipulated it. At the same time I made sure that if for whatever reason that plan fell through...I had a back-up plan. After almost a year of making something out of nothing..."we" decided to have me move to NYC. I had travelled back and forth once a month and sometimes twice a month...I felt like I knew the area. Had stayed in hotels all over NYC so that I could get the experience of different parts of the city. While I was here I cultivated other friendships so that again, should something fall through...I had a back-up plan.

One of my back-up plans got me the apartment in the Bronx, another back-up plan gave me the use of his car when I got here, and my original "oppurtunity" was my money source (well that was the "plan").

My daddy put me on the Je.tBl.ue 11:15 flight out of Oakland. I was scared. I was nervous. Yet, I had this anxiousness...this excitement building inside me. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't really have a job to go to. I knew that I was going to be living off my credit cards for a while. Me and the "original oppurtunity" had broke up and stopped talking a month before I was to move here...so I knew that that money source was a dry well. Good thing that I had met a very nice hip white guy from Connecticut, when I came for the month before I was to move. Had I not met him...my money issues would have been a lot harder to deal with. With all these variables, I am nervous about what to expect and what's going to be expected of me (as if I didn't know...lol) New surrounding and not a single girl friend.
I am officially the "fresh meat" from California...and it shows.

I am at J.FK airport with all of my million of bags and it's humid.....humid. I take a taxi from JF.K to the Bronx...exit 6. I arrive at my apartment .... and it's occupied.
The woman I am subletting from is still living there.
ummm, .....ok.
*long ass story I don't want to tell right now*

I had a contact with some people and tried to see if I had access to a job oppurtunity. I did but it was part-time and minimal pay. I don't do minimal pay. SO what if I didn't have a job...I am not working for minimal pay. For the next three months I had no job...no in-coming money flow....besides my daddy and my Ccards...and whatever the 3 back-up plans would give me.

The first 3 months of living in NYC is a itme I will never forget or would I change....well except the money part. I was brand new to every experience NYC had to offer. I'd get on the subway and get off where ever...just randomly getting lost and finding my way around. I went out at nights to clubs, parties, gallery shows. I met a ton of people...all men but hey, that's ok, because I am good at what I do...and what I do...is make sure I am always taken care of.
I use to sit in this park on the corner of GC and 161st...and read a book and watch people...on game days I could here the fans in Yankee stadium. Those first 3 months of living in NYC were some of the loneliest days I've ever had....even though I was so busy. 3000 miles away from everyone you know...everything you know. No matter the amount of people I met could ever compare to living a life time in one place surrounded by people you've grown up with...plus all of my family. But again, I wouldn't have changed that time for anything.

Here I am 2 years later...still here. I initially said... OK, I will give NY at least a year...if I don't like it then I can always move back home and start back where I left off. If I like it...then I'll stay for 5 years or until I've had enough. Well, in this 2 years I have cried, hated, loved, laughed and screamed that I had had enough.... yet I am still here. I am glad that this oppurtunity came knocking...I am glad that I took it. I am glad that I won't be kicking myself in the ass...saying I shoulda, coulda, wish I woulda.... I DID IT!

I have learned alot about myself. I never knew I had this courage. I never thought I was this strong. Didn't think I could survive on my own. I've prided myself on being open-minded and embracing possibilities...but now I see that my words aren't just words. I love my frivilous life of ups and downs.

As my daddy always says....

It's All In the Experience.

*UPDATE: I just got off the phone with my daddy. He says....
Happy Annivesary Bloopty-babe.
Then he proceeds to tell me how proud of me he is...and how he brags to all his friends that I live in the Big Apple. I keep telling him that people that live in the Big Apple hate when you call it the Big Apple...LOL