Writing My Wrongs

What do I say…
I mean…I’mma be an ass for a minute and just say…
I miss my own damn writing.
That let’s you know that…I ain’t wrote for y’all…I writes for me.
I used to make myself laugh…no, serious…I did.

So it’s Friday and I have nothing planned this weekend but for some reason… somewhere in the back of my mind …maybe I might. People are trying to get together and trying to hang out…and I am telling them I can’t because I am busy.
I ain’t busy.
I’m lazy.
I’m broke.
…and my mind is not resting long enough for me to feel like I have a free moment.
Even while lying on my couch at 7 last night. Even while drinking a glass of wine and watching TheSexMovie. Even while lying in my bed while reading my book. Even while letting my phone calls go to voice message. Even while repeating days of notingingness and idling away at rampant rest and delusional laziness.
I AM BUSY DAMMIT.
Too busy to stop and think a thing or two through.
Constant movement in my cerebral that leaves me tired…tiresome…Ti-Red.

However, tonite… I actually have solidified plans to hang with one of the home girls. Something that came out of the blue. Normally, me… hanging with chicks in the city …usually is a tough sale… a little hard to get me to come out and spend time with a chick that more than likely will…well whatever.
Tonite…headed on over to the Angelika to watch the indie TheDivingBellandTheButterfly, then headed to get eats afterwards. Not feeling cute, feeling way too fat, and right now… non social. But I’mma give it a go.

This writing thing has made me a recluse. Deciding what I am going to do with this so called talent that some of y’all seem to think I have. I have been beat up, talked about, read the riot act to… y’all loves me. But if I get one more email, text, phone call, IM telling me to write…
Well, I guess that’s done since I am…writing.
I truly never knew what my writing did…does. Still not believing all the things that you have all told me….but I suppose if I can tell a story and make people laugh…or make you think…or make you feel like at least your not the only one to have gone through something… then I guess that’s all that really matters.
I write my stories for me...to remember. You read them for reasons that are only for you. Either way…thanks.

Anywrite, I have been writing and trying to maneuver some things around with the help from a very good friend in Houston. Nice to know someone actually cares. So in the ‘tween time, I have been writing small…very very short stories…to see if I can make them big stories…novels even… yea, about that…it’s going along at the pace I thought it would...slllooooow. Has me hold up in my apartment. Absent from the social.

So tonight, I will hang out with Jules. Tomorrow is suppose to be spent with Channing…however, I am thinking that sounds more like a date and I am not sure Dude would be ok with that.
Yes…Dude!

So… I will catch up with you all another time. Check in every now and then…and we shall go from there…