Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I Showed Up
I feel like you are waiting for me to show up...Like, you want me to fight for this.
Problem with that is I am not moving unless I have a destination…
…and I have no idea what I am fighting for.
Too many times…
I reached out to you and never did you let me grab hold.
One step away is where you have always been…
…and if I keep running after you…
I’ll always just be here…in this one place... running in place.
It’s a circle…
Let me in or let me go.
If you just say …go. I can walk away. I can walk away. I can just leave.
But you won’t let me live that easily…or leave that easily.
This is a struggle every day …I get up fighting and I lay down fighting...
and this,
it’s your fight but you pull me in…and the world is hard enough, don’t you think.
Let me in or let me go.
‘Cause this restlessness that you have created has me bangin’ my head against invisible walls. Am I supposed to die this way? Is that your wish? ‘Cause don’t you see I am slowly dying…
Whatever I had before …whatever I had to give… I’ve used up on you.
Depleted and soon deleted…I’m infected inside.
Maybe that’s been your plan all along…
just
to drive me insane slowly…slowly…ever so slowly.
‘Cause my days are aimless and my nights are riddle with bullets of memories that don’t quite kill me but leave me on the verge of an abyss that’s surely meant to be intentional.
I am suffocating from your absence…
Please...let me walk away…just walk away.
Torture is what you’ve been doing.
I’m not going to fight anymore. I’d rather just lay here and float off to sleep.
Never wake
just
…drift to a quiet place that takes me away from you… from this unwanted battle…this pauper’s war…from life. Just be gone. No yelling, no arguing… no words. Silently making my exit now…finally now…finally.
I felt like you’ve been waiting for me to show up for this…
well…I’m here.
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 11:16 AM
Sumptin To Say:
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@ Chele: 'Cause if they aren't over when you're over...they drag it out until they are finally...over.
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