Thursday, April 3, 2008

A Couple of Days

Other people laugh and joke...make light of an evening out. After all, it’s good times… laughing and losing yourself in beats that hopefully make you forget all the things that the sun brings and falling into the high that drinks can give you.
At least that’s the concept, the thought, the reasons why we party.

I drink and dance to lose myself. Really lose myself. Hoping to lose myself.

I went on a two day trip. Kissed. Drank. Played pool. Fucked. And woke up with a hangover and came home.
Is that reckless?
I knew who I was kissing.
3 Persephones and a SamAdams.
Condoms were used.

So, it wasn’t as reckless as it could have been… as much as I had hoped it would be. I sort of want to be wild. Sort of.
I’m single dammit.
I should be doing single shit yo!

That’s the beauty in being single, right… doing what you want when you want.
I used to love this part of being single. Used to revel in single-ness.
Part of me still yearns for freedom… not being accountable to anyone.
Part of me still twinges every time someone asks me… Where have you been? Where were you? Who are you going with?
My first thought is to tell him to stop asking me so many fucking questions… it takes me a minute to control my mouth to say something a little less abrasive. This of course leaves a big pause…which of course comes across as me telling a lie…about to tell a lie. Which I don’t…I tell the truth but… it’s that damn pause that always leaves a little doubt in his mind.
His mind.
That’s not being single. That’s not being selfish. You see, I care about leaving doubt in his mind.

I thought about all the things I’ve needed to do to take away…this something that has settled under my skin.
It’s this itching feeling that I have.
I need to do something to stop the itching.

But
I took a small two day trip, to see someone that could have been someone special to me had I not already had someone special to concentrate on. Problem with that is, the someone special …just doesn’t think that I am all that special.

I’m still itching

# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 10:03 AM
Sumptin To Say:
Singles don't itch. Married folk itch. A lot. You got it all wrong, lady. I'm itching like mad. For a full time job with bennies and relaction opportunities. Itching for a scratch.
# posted by Blogger proacTiff : April 3, 2008 at 11:56 AM
 
r-e-l-o-c-a-t-i-o-n. what had happened was... I started to scratch. down there. couldn't afford a wax. so i razor'd.
# posted by Blogger proacTiff : April 3, 2008 at 11:58 AM
 
Itching for a Scratch...that's the title of the chapter i wrote last night in my book that's been sorely neglected.

going out is much more fun when you are celebrating something, so find something to celebrate and try again..

Like maybe the endless possiblities that await you, your chance to jump into the infinite, the knowledge that there's a parachute when you do jump or feel like you're falling...

all of that is good reason to celebrate and tell Pro single folks get that itch too.!
# posted by Blogger A.u.n.t. Jackie : April 3, 2008 at 12:00 PM
 
I can't imagine someone thinking that you aren't special.
# posted by Blogger Bananas : April 3, 2008 at 12:40 PM
 
whew i've felt this very way...being single doesn't fit me yet I didn't find this out til I'd finally settled into one...again

definitely don't waste your times with the ones that don't think you are EVEN more special than you really are..I'd rather you spend that wasted time in reckless abandon with a subsitute..no worries, no fears..just being
# posted by Blogger Gemini Girl aka GG : April 7, 2008 at 12:31 PM
 
I think there is a great joy in the single life. There's nothing like being able to truly enjoy yourself when you get the urge to truly enjoy your space.

Small trips are the best. I miss 'em.


@ pro: lol @ so I razor'd. Hey Tiffany, I'm still alive...
# posted by Blogger Don : April 7, 2008 at 1:28 PM
 
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