Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Espanol and Head
There is a scene in Knocked Up where KatherineHeigel and her sister go up to the club…
The Sister: I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line, who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls.
The Doorman: It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a midget in the crowd.
This is why I don’t go to clubs anymore. I am too damn old. I do.not.care. I am not going to a club. First off, I’m not waiting on line. Didn’t have to do it back in the day, don’t want to do it now. Back in the day I was hot as fuck though…these days…I think I am the “as fuck” part and no longer hot. Either way, I’m not being passed over for some euro trash-skinny-as-fuck-bleached-out-blonde-bad-acne-from-anorexia-or-too-many-drugs skank!
Plus, half those bitches sucking doorman dick in the back alley to make sure that they get to pass through the ever lovely velvet rope…as this guy wrote about. I am just not down for giving random head to a random dude. I don’t know, that’s just not me. Not knockin’ if you do (in front of you)…hey if that’s your thing…and your thing works for you…even when you are alone in your home with nothing but you and your thoughts…then I am all for it. Just don’t expect every female out there to do the same shit. I’m funny like that…basic dudes aren’t fucking me in my face just because I want to get into some bitchass-overpriced-pretentious place.
Which brings us to…
Next topic… giving head.
Dare I say I was a pro at that…dare I say an expert.
I was like Serena with a stick in my hand…
As my poem, Ode to Dick…you could tell that I liked that shit.
I was old school like VanessaDelRio…sloppy and all over the place…slobbering and moaning and working shit…out!
Even to this day…I likes me some dick up in my mouth. You all know I have texture issues…but a dick…in it’s small and humble state…feels great but when it starts to come to life and stretch and stretch…and grow and grow…well that textured experience is something all together beautiful.
Yea, I used to be real good at giving head.
These days… I gag on my toothbrush every single morning…and every single night.
I don’t get it.
Spanish!…tired of these NY muthaeffas thinking I am Dominican, walking up to me and speaking Spanish…and then getting an attitude because I don’t know it. Regardless how I explain that I am half black and half Native American…they ass can’t comprehend that I Do Not Speak Spanish. So, since I can’t change my look…I figured I’d join ‘em.
So I’mma fake the funk and learn some espanol, Spanish for Dummies style. Pretty soon I will be conversing with my fellow Dominicans and Puerto Ricans…kicking the Spanish vocab…I may even fade outta black…go from daddy to papi on Dude.
Here’s a picture of “where the magic happens”…I know you all have seen my bed a million times but I liked the shadows in this one…bed has junk on it…and try not to focus in on the white bra…but all the other surroundings…lol
New pool league starts May 15…so I am putting in practice time at the local (not so local since it’s a train ride and 5 block walk) billiard spot. Gots to get my game back up…so I can win me a cruise somewhere. Plus, I know that my other hobbies didn’t quite take…my pool game for the past 6 years has kept my interest.
…whereas my-new-hobby-that-I-never-started of crotcheting hasn’t really enthused me enough to pick up some needles. I generally use the needles I bought as Chinese chopsticks to put my hair up… c’est la vie.
So, I have one of my cues in the shop to get a new tip put on…and here is my old faithful, I believe y’all have met before…when I let FLAT RANDY hang out with me on league night.
Here is a pic of some of my wall hangings… Miles and Gillespie… Everyone usually has black and whites of jazz artist... I like my shit colorful. These are made out of wood...heavy as hell...I should have opted for the framed prints, but naw, my ass had to be diff...and from what I remember, ended up breaking a couple of fingernails when I hung them. I've seen these everywhere latley though...wack. There is one of Coltrane and Ella...but I saw them once and didn't get 'em and now I haven't been able to run across them again...wack.
I am done for today…
Oh, I found some super long black shoelaces that the boys left here… It actually looks like miniature rope on Rusty. I am back in the erotic rope practicing game…Photos will come once I master tying a little stuffed animal up with shoelaces.
B~E~Z
The Sister: I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line, who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls.
The Doorman: It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a midget in the crowd.
This is why I don’t go to clubs anymore. I am too damn old. I do.not.care. I am not going to a club. First off, I’m not waiting on line. Didn’t have to do it back in the day, don’t want to do it now. Back in the day I was hot as fuck though…these days…I think I am the “as fuck” part and no longer hot. Either way, I’m not being passed over for some euro trash-skinny-as-fuck-bleached-out-blonde-bad-acne-from-anorexia-or-too-many-drugs skank!
Plus, half those bitches sucking doorman dick in the back alley to make sure that they get to pass through the ever lovely velvet rope…as this guy wrote about. I am just not down for giving random head to a random dude. I don’t know, that’s just not me. Not knockin’ if you do (in front of you)…hey if that’s your thing…and your thing works for you…even when you are alone in your home with nothing but you and your thoughts…then I am all for it. Just don’t expect every female out there to do the same shit. I’m funny like that…basic dudes aren’t fucking me in my face just because I want to get into some bitchass-overpriced-pretentious place.
Which brings us to…
Next topic… giving head.
Dare I say I was a pro at that…dare I say an expert.
I was like Serena with a stick in my hand…
As my poem, Ode to Dick…you could tell that I liked that shit.
I was old school like VanessaDelRio…sloppy and all over the place…slobbering and moaning and working shit…out!
Even to this day…I likes me some dick up in my mouth. You all know I have texture issues…but a dick…in it’s small and humble state…feels great but when it starts to come to life and stretch and stretch…and grow and grow…well that textured experience is something all together beautiful.
Yea, I used to be real good at giving head.
These days… I gag on my toothbrush every single morning…and every single night.
I don’t get it.
Spanish!…tired of these NY muthaeffas thinking I am Dominican, walking up to me and speaking Spanish…and then getting an attitude because I don’t know it. Regardless how I explain that I am half black and half Native American…they ass can’t comprehend that I Do Not Speak Spanish. So, since I can’t change my look…I figured I’d join ‘em.
So I’mma fake the funk and learn some espanol, Spanish for Dummies style. Pretty soon I will be conversing with my fellow Dominicans and Puerto Ricans…kicking the Spanish vocab…I may even fade outta black…go from daddy to papi on Dude.
I don't care how straight my hair is...I'm black (ISH) dammit!! Either way...I ain't spanish, hawaiian, asian, filapino... I'm black with a splash of NA...or rather...Native American with a splash of black...lol
Here’s a picture of “where the magic happens”…I know you all have seen my bed a million times but I liked the shadows in this one…bed has junk on it…and try not to focus in on the white bra…but all the other surroundings…lol New pool league starts May 15…so I am putting in practice time at the local (not so local since it’s a train ride and 5 block walk) billiard spot. Gots to get my game back up…so I can win me a cruise somewhere. Plus, I know that my other hobbies didn’t quite take…my pool game for the past 6 years has kept my interest.…whereas my-new-hobby-that-I-never-started of crotcheting hasn’t really enthused me enough to pick up some needles. I generally use the needles I bought as Chinese chopsticks to put my hair up… c’est la vie.
So, I have one of my cues in the shop to get a new tip put on…and here is my old faithful, I believe y’all have met before…when I let FLAT RANDY hang out with me on league night.
Here is a pic of some of my wall hangings… Miles and Gillespie… Everyone usually has black and whites of jazz artist... I like my shit colorful. These are made out of wood...heavy as hell...I should have opted for the framed prints, but naw, my ass had to be diff...and from what I remember, ended up breaking a couple of fingernails when I hung them. I've seen these everywhere latley though...wack. There is one of Coltrane and Ella...but I saw them once and didn't get 'em and now I haven't been able to run across them again...wack.
I am done for today…Oh, I found some super long black shoelaces that the boys left here… It actually looks like miniature rope on Rusty. I am back in the erotic rope practicing game…Photos will come once I master tying a little stuffed animal up with shoelaces.
B~E~Z
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 1:51 PM
Sumptin To Say:
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"I was old school like VanessaDelRio…sloppy and all over the place…slobbering and moaning and working shit…out!"
That right there should qualify you for a cruise.
That right there should qualify you for a cruise.
I get uncomfortable talking about sucking, which isn't to say that i do or i don't, will or won't. I just can't talk about it.
Prototype type told me once he thought I could suck his soul out thru a straw. For some reason that always stuck with me.
by the way you have nice lips...
Prototype type told me once he thought I could suck his soul out thru a straw. For some reason that always stuck with me.
by the way you have nice lips...
i know thats right, i would love to tap that too. lol. just saying what i mean and fel, and i left a response to u on dick riding aint my thang
I hate HEARING about the way chicks give head. I'm a visual kind of guy. Preferably me looking down and seeing it. LMAO!
KZ
KZ
Standing on the line must be a total east coast thing, or just maybe I ain't never been to those type of clubs (probably the later cuz Sweet Jimmie's was my spot LOLOLOL!)
Girl them fools just trying to holla at you. My hubby's barber in WA is Dominican and that fool look like my hubby with a trimmed beard and head.
Girl them fools just trying to holla at you. My hubby's barber in WA is Dominican and that fool look like my hubby with a trimmed beard and head.
@ Terry: Thank you...but that pic is a year old...my hair is now a diff color and length...will post that pic later.
@ Pro: I am breaking out to...like gross crazy! I think it's my fast living of drinking, staying out late and eating junk food. Plus stress!
I don't write thesiseses...the picture make my post look long...plus I have a huge font for the visually impaired (read: me)
@ Boi: hehehe...yea, I should. Well...I mean if I was into that type of thing still...LOL
@ AJ: You are too much of a lady to talk abotu giving head. Me? Not lady enough...
I am blushing...you have a nice set too Nisa.
@ Terry: I thought you liked the legs...lips too...*smile*
@ Torrance: You do a lot of talking! I read your response...and I figured you'd make that comment once I clicked "publish comment"...LOL
Are you coming to the Harlem book fair this year?
@ Do you know...I grew up with carpets...NY has nothing but hardwood floors. I don't especially like it...it's hard on the knees...just sayin'.
@ Kyle: because I watcha lot of madness (read: porn)...I tried to copy her head skills.
@ Zed: at least I can talk about it and be about it...just sayin'.
@ Aly: I dated a longshore men so Jimmy's was the spot for free...lol You know, Jimmy being an retired longshore man. Jimmy's was the shiiit! You took me back with that one. How about the 5th Amendment on Lakeshore?
@ Pro: I am breaking out to...like gross crazy! I think it's my fast living of drinking, staying out late and eating junk food. Plus stress!
I don't write thesiseses...the picture make my post look long...plus I have a huge font for the visually impaired (read: me)
@ Boi: hehehe...yea, I should. Well...I mean if I was into that type of thing still...LOL
@ AJ: You are too much of a lady to talk abotu giving head. Me? Not lady enough...
I am blushing...you have a nice set too Nisa.
@ Terry: I thought you liked the legs...lips too...*smile*
@ Torrance: You do a lot of talking! I read your response...and I figured you'd make that comment once I clicked "publish comment"...LOL
Are you coming to the Harlem book fair this year?
@ Do you know...I grew up with carpets...NY has nothing but hardwood floors. I don't especially like it...it's hard on the knees...just sayin'.
@ Kyle: because I watcha lot of madness (read: porn)...I tried to copy her head skills.
@ Zed: at least I can talk about it and be about it...just sayin'.
@ Aly: I dated a longshore men so Jimmy's was the spot for free...lol You know, Jimmy being an retired longshore man. Jimmy's was the shiiit! You took me back with that one. How about the 5th Amendment on Lakeshore?
So, I am commenting on another person's blog and I see that Blah,Blah has posted a comment. I think to myself, hey, I have not been to Blah, Blah's blog in a minute, let me see what she's got going on. I click on the link and what do I get. Head and Spanish. WoW, you really know how to get a brother's attention, huh.
LOL...You said you were just 'the fuck' part. I was tripping off that. Have a blessed weekend, lady.
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LOL...You said you were just 'the fuck' part. I was tripping off that. Have a blessed weekend, lady.
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