Writing My Wrongs

In one month I have used 1,694 texts.
Now I don’t know if that seems like excess...but it sure as hell does seem like it to me.
And I have unlimited texting!
I mean… I spent 2,094 minutes on the phone…which means I was over only 400 minutes of talking than texting. I need to start talking to ppl more. Establish some sort of real life conversations. This technology thing is getting out of hand.

May 9th I will no longer be from Harlem World, New York City, New York.
Come August 2nd I will have lived in New York 4 years and 5 days later I will leave New York for Fort Washington, Maryland.

I was sitting and having lunch with my friend the Shark today. We were reminiscing about me coming to New York from California to visit him…how he gave me his credit card number and told me to buy a ticket whenever I felt like coming. He tells me has mad love for me and that was the first and last time he’s ever done that for anyone. You can’t deny that Cali love I tell ya! Makes you do shit you’d normally never do.
As usual, he tells me that if it weren’t for him, that I would have never made it to the city of lights…but because he wanted me here so bad…he put in the leg work to find me an apartment while I was still in California.
I had to remind him…my plans were already in motion before the leg work. I’d cultivated a “friendship” to make sure that I wouldn’t be without in NYC once I arrived. By chance, 4 men stepped up to the plate…and of those 4…3 are still around.
Admittedly, not in the same capacity…although…today, I sure wish they were…lord knows I need help moving to Maryland…and not just monetary but physical help.
I am still waiting for someone to step up…still…waiting.

We talked and talked and he reminded me of soem tings that I had forgotten...of which I had to let him know....he owes me big time for some things...yea, I'mma have to wait on that too.
Seems as if many ppl want to spend much time with me now that I am leaving...funny that. I can't accomodate everyone... So I will make sure that my last days are spent with people that I really considered a friend...someone that showed me and taught me things...someone that helped me become the Bloopty of New York!

New York has been a lot of things to me…and as many falling out of my seat from laughing so hard I cried moments…there have been times when I felt like the city had swallowed me whole and sucked out all the good juices before being regurgitated back out onto the dingy streets of Gotham.
My whole philosophy for moving to NYC was that…I could never look back and kick myself in the ass and say “I wish I shoulda or I wish I woulda…”… I did the damn thing and have memories aplenty to remember it by.

I have felt for some time now that it was time for me to move on…to change my scene to begin anew and step into the next stage in my life. I am ready. Scared…but ready. Unsure but still…ready. Come what may, I am living my life…and not just existing, thinking that tomorrow is promised. I godda try and find what’s good for me and live the life that’s meant for me.

The publisher of the book that I did the piece on my father… she called on Tuesday morning and left a voice message…
She was crying as she told me how the story touched her...and that the words that my father had for me…was speaking to her in her current situation. I cried as I listened to her praise my father and told me that I am lucky.
I’ve always known I was lucky to have MY father…and as much as I got questioned about it…as I’ve said before, I never missed not having a mother…my father was all the mother and father I needed.
It’s funny how I can …now, four years later, still use his words as inspiration…

“…There is no way that it could be a wrong decision. God may have brought you to NY to take you to Carolina, or NY may be your home – only you can plumb the depths of your inner person to discern the voice that leads you. Decisions are not financial, political, or cultural – they are always spiritual at their core. Of course ANY decision you make will be successful if you fully commit to throwing your heart and soul into the venture. I am a witness that the Universe honors any intentional decisions and rises up to be a partner in your ambitions.”

I am ambitious!