Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I'm Ready fro Some Football Dammit!!!
This picture was taken...3 weeks ago...maybe two....maybe four...who knows, I've lost track of my days.
This is me...and my saggy baggies.
But this story isn't about them.
It's about football... so sit back if you got a minute and ... understand that at the end of my story...you are suppose to sympathize with me.
LOL
~~~
I knew that I was going to be the odd man out…so to speak.
I don’t know too many ppl here and the ones I do know…well, they aren’t necessarily invited to my home. Besides Dude and my cousin…no one has been here and I haven’t invited anyone.
So Sunday was a day for football…and as my roomies told me…a fish fry/tailgating party.
Yippee…all I need to do is be around some military...some deltas…and listening to this other chick screech skee-wee for the next 4 hours. She claims she was representing since so many deltas were in attendance…but after 4 Yuenglings…that shit started to give me a headache. Funny how most I meet think to ask me if I am an Also Known As…I think I’d shoot myself in the head if I had to do that high pitch squeal everytime we got together. That’s no offense to Pro or 69…and anyone else. Like some white folks…I’ll profess as they do about blacks… “some of my very good friends are Also Known As”...
Back to me and the disturbance of my Sunday football routine…
So…I invite the cuz and Dude…knew cuz wasn’t coming because it was an adult only party…and she is still surgically attached to her 4 kids…oldest being 20 and youngest being 11. She needs to let go...but until then, I know she isn’t attending anything “adult only” unless I literally kidnap her. And since moi car is incapacitated right now…that ain’t happening. Actually it is not moi car…Dude has 3…and well, now he has 2 in his drive way and the other…well it sits in my driveway…but either way…it’s undriveable right now. I dented his rims by hitting a curb…and blew out the high performance tires he has attached to said rim…
And again…
Back to Sunday football…
People started arriving at 12:30 in what I thought was anticipation for the 1 o’clock game…food was cooked and crabs from the wharf were bought…two coolers filled with beer, champagne and they were doing tequila shots…
Me…well…I had the dip, I ate one crab, and I had some macaroni n cheese. I turned up the game and sat back for what I thought was going to be a day of football watching in my home…comfortable…drinking beer and maybe (not really) talking of some shit…
I am SO not a Redskins fan and take offense to any team named RED skin…with their fake headdress and offensive use of the tomahawk….same sentiments apply to the Kansas City Chief organization and fans.
I got half way thru the first game without any problems…but then half-time came and that my friends is where these muthaeffas lost it.
They started playing house music…LOUD!
Now don’t get me wrong I love house music…I do. But half time is over bitches and the game is back on and THIS IS MY MUTHA FUCKEN FLAT SCREEN AND I WANT TO WATCH THE GAME.
I didn’t say that. ::huge sigh::
I merely picked up my remote and turned that muthaeffa up. Fuck ‘em if they didn’t know what that meant… I had the rule over the remote control… I was the Queen of the remote control!
I think I may have raised some hackles on that because…said bitches moved to the office and commence to drinking more and talking more shit. Military group is in the kitchen hovered in a small ass spot watching the game on a 19 in. I am in the family room by myself and drinking to my hearts content on some Yuengling.
2nd game comes on and by that half time report…the guys have made their way into my domain. Now let me let you know what I had on… some beach shorts and a basic t-shirt that I wear over my bikini top when I don’t wanna walk around showing my tig ol’ bitties…and some white socks. I had just gotten out the shower and my hair was air drying so I was walking around with my hair looking like a bad Diana Ross wig.
I don’t know too many ppl here and the ones I do know…well, they aren’t necessarily invited to my home. Besides Dude and my cousin…no one has been here and I haven’t invited anyone.
So Sunday was a day for football…and as my roomies told me…a fish fry/tailgating party.
Yippee…all I need to do is be around some military...some deltas…and listening to this other chick screech skee-wee for the next 4 hours. She claims she was representing since so many deltas were in attendance…but after 4 Yuenglings…that shit started to give me a headache. Funny how most I meet think to ask me if I am an Also Known As…I think I’d shoot myself in the head if I had to do that high pitch squeal everytime we got together. That’s no offense to Pro or 69…and anyone else. Like some white folks…I’ll profess as they do about blacks… “some of my very good friends are Also Known As”...
Back to me and the disturbance of my Sunday football routine…
So…I invite the cuz and Dude…knew cuz wasn’t coming because it was an adult only party…and she is still surgically attached to her 4 kids…oldest being 20 and youngest being 11. She needs to let go...but until then, I know she isn’t attending anything “adult only” unless I literally kidnap her. And since moi car is incapacitated right now…that ain’t happening. Actually it is not moi car…Dude has 3…and well, now he has 2 in his drive way and the other…well it sits in my driveway…but either way…it’s undriveable right now. I dented his rims by hitting a curb…and blew out the high performance tires he has attached to said rim…
And again…
Back to Sunday football…
People started arriving at 12:30 in what I thought was anticipation for the 1 o’clock game…food was cooked and crabs from the wharf were bought…two coolers filled with beer, champagne and they were doing tequila shots…
Me…well…I had the dip, I ate one crab, and I had some macaroni n cheese. I turned up the game and sat back for what I thought was going to be a day of football watching in my home…comfortable…drinking beer and maybe (not really) talking of some shit…
I am SO not a Redskins fan and take offense to any team named RED skin…with their fake headdress and offensive use of the tomahawk….same sentiments apply to the Kansas City Chief organization and fans.
I got half way thru the first game without any problems…but then half-time came and that my friends is where these muthaeffas lost it.
They started playing house music…LOUD!
Now don’t get me wrong I love house music…I do. But half time is over bitches and the game is back on and THIS IS MY MUTHA FUCKEN FLAT SCREEN AND I WANT TO WATCH THE GAME.
I didn’t say that. ::huge sigh::
I merely picked up my remote and turned that muthaeffa up. Fuck ‘em if they didn’t know what that meant… I had the rule over the remote control… I was the Queen of the remote control!
I think I may have raised some hackles on that because…said bitches moved to the office and commence to drinking more and talking more shit. Military group is in the kitchen hovered in a small ass spot watching the game on a 19 in. I am in the family room by myself and drinking to my hearts content on some Yuengling.
2nd game comes on and by that half time report…the guys have made their way into my domain. Now let me let you know what I had on… some beach shorts and a basic t-shirt that I wear over my bikini top when I don’t wanna walk around showing my tig ol’ bitties…and some white socks. I had just gotten out the shower and my hair was air drying so I was walking around with my hair looking like a bad Diana Ross wig.
The rest of these women…obviously thought “fish fry/tailgating” meant we were gonna segue into a night out at the club. Picture this…45+ showing all sorts of cleavage and cellulite thighs with big ol clunky heels on. All Dude kept saying was… “that’s just nasty”…lol
I’m just sayin’….
This is my house and I don’t know you ppl and I am sure as hell not dressing up to drink beer and watch football up in MY house...on my couch.
So…as I find myself sitting in my family room…holding onto the neck of a bottle of beer as I munch on a chicken wing with the other hand… I notice that I have turned into one of the guys. They are talking to me like they think I know shit…and I can fake the funk for a minute of two…but…I don’t know names…unless they are old 1970 or 80’s players….but these new dudes…these young dudes…not so much. Partly due to…back in the day I was a football groupie…dated plenty of players along the west coast… but these players…well, they aren’t much older than my sons.
So I engaged in random convo for the space of 5-10 minutes…then I went on lock down and focused my eyes and my attention on the tv screen.
When I say that I am ready for some football… I don’t need others around.
I am just wondering if these people are going to be here until after the 8:00 game.
You see, I am trying to be social…even though I am at my most unsocial ability right this very minute. But thoughts of going to my room and shutting my door, locking it and turning my tv on and just fazing these ppl out…well, I am really trying hard not to be that chick. Really.
Now mind you…I am the youngest muthafucka up in this place…no lie. I am not in my element…altho, to be honest…I have no more element, no more swagger and no more energy….but I am trying.
SO as I sit here and listen to these people talk about shit that I thought school girls discussed…looked at these men and wondered if my husband or man was going to be this fed up with socializing and married life when we got to be their age…sorta makes me wonder…I sure as hell hope that isn’t me in another 10 years. It’s sad to see…
I’m just sayin’….
This is my house and I don’t know you ppl and I am sure as hell not dressing up to drink beer and watch football up in MY house...on my couch.
So…as I find myself sitting in my family room…holding onto the neck of a bottle of beer as I munch on a chicken wing with the other hand… I notice that I have turned into one of the guys. They are talking to me like they think I know shit…and I can fake the funk for a minute of two…but…I don’t know names…unless they are old 1970 or 80’s players….but these new dudes…these young dudes…not so much. Partly due to…back in the day I was a football groupie…dated plenty of players along the west coast… but these players…well, they aren’t much older than my sons.
So I engaged in random convo for the space of 5-10 minutes…then I went on lock down and focused my eyes and my attention on the tv screen.
When I say that I am ready for some football… I don’t need others around.
I am just wondering if these people are going to be here until after the 8:00 game.
You see, I am trying to be social…even though I am at my most unsocial ability right this very minute. But thoughts of going to my room and shutting my door, locking it and turning my tv on and just fazing these ppl out…well, I am really trying hard not to be that chick. Really.
Now mind you…I am the youngest muthafucka up in this place…no lie. I am not in my element…altho, to be honest…I have no more element, no more swagger and no more energy….but I am trying.
SO as I sit here and listen to these people talk about shit that I thought school girls discussed…looked at these men and wondered if my husband or man was going to be this fed up with socializing and married life when we got to be their age…sorta makes me wonder…I sure as hell hope that isn’t me in another 10 years. It’s sad to see…
Am I bitter...I'd say so...but I am for many reasons.
I finally gave up and left those bitches to their own devices…as long as it didn’t interfere with my game…and interfere with my sleep.
I woke up to a clean house and a whole helluva lotta beer and left over snacks!!
Oh…and for those Raiders naysayers…. We won, bitches!
I finally gave up and left those bitches to their own devices…as long as it didn’t interfere with my game…and interfere with my sleep.
I woke up to a clean house and a whole helluva lotta beer and left over snacks!!
Oh…and for those Raiders naysayers…. We won, bitches!
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 2:41 PM
Sumptin To Say:
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Is it wrong that I wholeheartedly supported going in your room to watch the game? Just sayin', you're a dude. Why I gotta tell YOU to shut the hell up when the game comes back on. Don't you know better? Isn't that coded in your man DNA or something? Boo.
You're a better woman than I am. I would have raised hell if the music was playing during the games. Half time and commercials only, homies.
And I hate women who have no concept of casual, watching a game at the house cute. Invite me over some time, I'll be rocking some kind of sweatsuit/tracksuit and ask if I can take my shoes off (clean socks, of course).
And don't talk to me while the game is on.
And I hate women who have no concept of casual, watching a game at the house cute. Invite me over some time, I'll be rocking some kind of sweatsuit/tracksuit and ask if I can take my shoes off (clean socks, of course).
And don't talk to me while the game is on.
Also Known As? Really? I would have had you figured for having DSLs...I mean having a DSL connection to the internet, that is.
Baggies, indeed.
KZ
Baggies, indeed.
KZ
Not that I didn't think you were before, but the fact that you are a football fan is sexy.
And, I would have had you pegged as an Also Known As
And, I would have had you pegged as an Also Known As
Don't Worry, you're still Fine.
Just dropped by to say hi..Don't think I've been on your blog since you moved.. How are you doing?
Just dropped by to say hi..Don't think I've been on your blog since you moved.. How are you doing?
saggy? whatever. you dented the rim already? new york is still oozing from you, eh? lol it was a good start-and finish to the social affairs in MD! at least you tried. i'll take some of those leftover crabs... and not the tired older men from the house party!
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