Saturday, September 20, 2008
RePost: Midnight Flight to...
How do I begin?Do I start off with the things that will make you laugh?
Or the things that will make you think "poor Bloopty, when will she learn?"
Well....since I am not one that likes to be pitied... I'll start by saying...
A few weeks ago, someone told me that I need to stop telling people that I am not girlfriend or marriage material.
Obviously I am. Although, in my opinion......
Apparently this weekend was the setup.
Bloopty played: "The Mark"
Setup line: "Come to Greensboro , I want to make you happier than anyone ever has."
...see, this is where I am at fault... I am not the sharpest tool in the toolshed... so I heard what he said but I didn't understand what he said... sorta.
Me being me... the ass... well... I just wanted the free trip. Yea, you know me... wasn't too much thinking about what he wanted because... well... because it's all about me.
Sunday rolls around...
He's a minister. A big church. Huge. Sorta bougie church with the basic congregation of city officials, university chancellors and the like...
Me? Not impressed because... well no specific reason but I grew up around a certain amount of siddity stuck up bullshit... so just because you’re from the country variety of siddity, doesn't make that sort of bullshit any less smelly. Plus, my church here in Harlem isn't that much better. However, I don't go to church to socialize, I go to listen, to learn, to de-stress and feel something that I can't feel anywhere else. Yea, it is that simple.
....back to church...
I get to the church and I am not at all uncomfortable about this awkward situation. I mean...I have dated men of "God" before....granted, not in public and I sure wasn't pulling up to their church sitting shotgun in their car... parking in a spot that is reserved for "Associate Minister"
...but because I know me and I know what part I am to play... I fall in to role easily and so it begins....
....and scene....
He introduces me to EVERYONE.
'Scuse me dude, but aaah, I may not be coming back... why the introductions everywhere?
So....what he had said was that we were going to go have dinner... for Mom's Day. So again...me being me...because everything is always all about me... thought it was he and I...but NO... "they" going to dinner too....
...and scene...
We pull up in the driveway of his grandmothers’ house....
his mother is there
his sister
his girl cousins
grandfather
his aunties
...and this muthascooter had the O-dacity to leave me in a livingroom full of women while he and his grandfather and uncles went out in the yard to smoke stoggies.
So, here I am...brand new and shit... and they are giving me the 3rd degree. They proceed to tell me what a great guy dude is and that Greensboro is a nice place to live to rear a family... *oh, am I planning on having babies?*
I just smiled politely...came across as an half witted air-headed chick... and as always... the standard line when I do that which perplexes someone is... "I'm from California "...as if that explains away every flaw I may have. Most people give me a knowing look as if California chicks are dunce.
I use it on occasions when I am dealing with real simple people... those people that are marginal.
Yet, today I am not dealing with simple... I am dealing with a room full of women that think that their male child is the be all...to end all.
*deep breath*
So during their 3rd degree...and also pumping homeboy up... all I hear is....
Blah Blah Blah
Now... a couple of things wrong with this scenario... most important being...
I came down on the free trip to get away... you know...
country= relaxing,
massages= relaxing,
him catering me= relaxing....
I didn't come for the wedding dress fitting, I didn't come to pick out wedding announcements...
I merely came for relaxation and a little...well, you know…MAYBE.
I can't marry this man!
For one mon ami....
I am a city girl! As much as I am a Cali chick 'til the day I die... I am just as much a city chick.
I know I complain about getting out of the city every chance I get...but that's all just talk. Just ramblings of a crazy and deranged mind... but deep down in my heart... I need the sirens and cars and shouting to lull me to sleep. I need to hear the jack hammer in the middle of the day just like I hear the horns from the angry taxi drivers. I need the film of dirt to cover my windows because of all the pollutants in the air.
I need to know I don't have to pull out the wagon and hitch up that ol' nag Ruthie May to carry me 25 miles to the next damn city...
Suffice to say... me and the country is just a nice thought.
A "what if" type of thought... but fa-reala... No.
Monday comes... after a night of wrestling... a night of attitude and a night of ... bastard ass behavior... I get up and tell him that instead of waiting for my 8PM flight... he can take me to the airport as soon as we get dressed. Why did that bastard sit around until 1:30 doing nothing but lounging on the couch? Mutha fucka…take me to the airport.
I’m tryna be as nice as possible because …well fuck, he bought my ticket. But weekend is done…and he…well he's done too!
Sidenote: I need to stop the story and explain one thing....
Men are men regardless of whether they are called to preach God's word. They are not perfect, they are not superhuman, they are not above all the rest, they are simply men that that God relays his lesson, word, teachings through. So, do not put them up on pedestals and think that they do not sin or that they do not fall short of the glory of God. They do...because again... they are men (humans). Granted, he should have more control over the desires of the world however, that does not mean that their footing does not sometimes falter. Give them room to make the same mistakes you make... you don't have to agree but you should be able to understand it.
...and scene...
...we didn't have sex. That wasn't the plan. That wasn't on the agenda.
However... other things may have happened.
I am going to hell for this next line...
IF I were to even think about marrying him...I wouldn't...because to be his age... he knows nothing about Colonel Angus
Exit stage left....aaaand scene...!
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 12:28 PM
Sumptin To Say:
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I didn't get your Colonel Angus link, but ha haaaa, you got what you deserved for taking the "free" trip, LOL.
At least now they'll have something to talk about for the next umpteen years.
At least now they'll have something to talk about for the next umpteen years.
You don't necissarily have to be his age to not know anything about Colonel Angus. Hoping my reference or lack-there-of doesn't appear too Cali-foreign to a native Californian.
Well, I for one have been known to hang out with Colonel Angus - alot. He's a good man and serves me well.
He saves me big time because often my friend Bicus Dicus doesn't come through at all.
He saves me big time because often my friend Bicus Dicus doesn't come through at all.
lmao @ all of this... the boro used to be my own stomping grounds so I felt like I knew the family... country people are so funny... but you were straight bamboozled... dang...
girl make sure you get all the info of the plans for the weekend before you go on the free trips... should have hit me up I could have told you about a club to slip off to...lol
girl make sure you get all the info of the plans for the weekend before you go on the free trips... should have hit me up I could have told you about a club to slip off to...lol
As the slow one in the room....I had to read that joint twice before I got it and you wrong. LOL
But he's wrong for the fake free trip. That trip wasn't free....you paid for it in an inquisition. LOL
But he's wrong for the fake free trip. That trip wasn't free....you paid for it in an inquisition. LOL
Colonel Angus? Nope I have no clue, and I'm from The Bay. *chuckle* I wonder why he'd fly you down like that to have dinner with his family? It seems rather presumptuous.
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