Friday, October 10, 2008
Old Men
You sure are a cute little muthafucka!I stood there for a few minutes…trying to understand…just what the fuck WAS THAT SHIT!
I say, “Umm, are you talking to me?” As I turned my lip up at him.
He say, “I sure am. I’d like to do the Ving Rhames on you…”
Now I know what the fuck the VR is…but I can not imagine in my wildest dreams/nightmares believe that this grimey fool is talking about what I think he’s talking about…
He say, “I’d go Baby Boy on your little light-weight ass like WHAT!”
Ok, I was wrong…he was talking about what I thought he was… let me think how I want to proceed…
I say, “Old man, you cain’t possibly think you can handle me...whether, small or big…I’mma tall order so you GOT to be ready to pay for everything you order!”
He say, “Ooh wee…I like a sassy muthafucka!”
I say, “If you talking about me…you mean a SEXY muthafucka…” (at least that’s who Prince thinks I am…with his celibate ass…lol)
Now I don’t know about you women in blogland…but I am pretty sure that you’ll agree with me when I say…
That shit right there…is some other world shit because I find it hard to believe that this 50 year old man…with his saggy balls, loose bowels and grey pubes…is talking to my young spry ass (shudditup!) about holding me up as he hops around the house with his arthritic knees and his hip replacement.
Nor can I fathom THAT old ass reference to VR was his pick up line, his game plan, his full throttle approach…
But I have been wrong before, as I am sure…I am this time.
I think he thought he was actually putting his A-game out there, his best foot forward, his undeniable suave and smooth mack down. Yea, I am pretty sure he thought he was.
Back in the day when I was the shit…
These type of jokers knew not to even attempt a look in my direction… now that I am old shit…I get geriatrics at the lounge tryna spit game from a movie in 2001…gggrrrrrreat!
I’mma learn…
Stay my old ass in the house and cruise the internet for a man…lol Or hope the FEDEX guys is cute enough to have him come in while I sign for my package…bent over…hands on ankle as I maneuver writing my name, while dropping it like it’s hot. Or resort to flirting with the Home Owner Association president as he pulls out of his driveway every morning…you know, conveniently go check on my mail at 7:30 in the morning in my silk wrap and my furry kitten shoes with the clear heels…
Just saying…either that or go to the bar/club/lounge and get Jerome tryna spit game as he tries to hold his dentures in with his tongue…sounding like a gruff drag queen with a lisp.
I am done.
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 10:20 AM
Sumptin To Say:
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Told ya to stop wondering the streets aimlessly..See what you attract..That shit was Funny as hell...lol Ving Rhames U...hahahahahaha
hey...Hey...HEY! Watch it now, I'm an old man.
Yeah my back hurts and I can't plaster a naked woman against the wall, and throw it down like I used to, but I still got tricks.
I just need a little Malox now and again.
Yeah my back hurts and I can't plaster a naked woman against the wall, and throw it down like I used to, but I still got tricks.
I just need a little Malox now and again.
I am absolutely cracking the hell up! Whooo...now that was some funny ish right there. That olda man ought to be shamed..lol. He need to go sit down somewhere.
Thanks for the laugh, love your blog.
Thanks for the laugh, love your blog.
Funny picture, even funnier line. Hey, you can't blame the old dude for trying. You are quite the looker from what I've seen.
I happen to like old men. I had me and old man, about 50 once and although he was old and set in his ways, didn't like to turn the heat on much and wore his hat in the house on occasion we had some really sexy times!
trying to get Twista's line "spityogame..." outta my mind after this lounge scene i so wasn't prepared for. much like you that night. maybe you need to definitely stick with amping up your s&m collection, you know, once you find out who they use for shipping and delivering. that way the delivery guy will know what kinda stuff you are into and not think it strange your ass being overtly sexual before lunch time. you need a spankin'. and ol' dude need an E for effort. i wonder about the game or lack there of the men i watch from afar.
A players habits die hard. I guarantee you those lines have worked at least once. I dunno what it says about me but I woulda responded to anyone calling me Muthafucka. *SWOON*
PS...I fell off the face of the earth. Literally. Im having a party on the 25th. come.
PS...I fell off the face of the earth. Literally. Im having a party on the 25th. come.
I would laugh, but since I am heading closer and closer to that age group myself, I have to wonder if people feel the same way about me.
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