Writing My Wrongs

I have the tendency to call someone a bitch, with the quickness. Usually it’s not warranted but then again…name calling rarely is (said rarely, not never). So I yell my Bitch! in the quiet of my mind…just in case it is one of those moments where I…am in the wrong. Although, I am finding that that is rare also…in my mind.

For instance, while out this weekend... Everyone was ordering drinks and I simply asked for a water/no ice/with a lemon. The table looked at me and one lone wolf decided to broach the subject with, “B, you aren’t ordering a drink?”
I say, “Yes Bitch, I am drinking water…what I ordered!”
What I say out loud, “Yea, just water for me.”

I knew I would have been worng for the simple fact that...I do drink...a lot...often...almost always. He asking me the question was not out of line...I can almost positively say, this would have been one of those rare occassions that I might have been in the wrong had I responded with the Bitch comment...might have.

I’ve been getting announcements in my inbox about upcoming Learn to Strip for Your Man seminars…sessions. I really thought about it…really. Then I'd have to go all out and buy me one of those portable stripper poles that go in your bedroom...or living room...or kitchen (?)
But my lazy ass can not wrap my head around …sexy, right now.
I mean, this is me now…




Speaking of …back then. Remember when I was having 3 hour lunches and eating at all the boutique-y restaurants in the big city? Here is a view of my lunch today…

*Huge Sigh*

I must admit, I have no groceries and was on my way to go when I remembered that I am waiting for some keys to be delivered from UPS…delivered hopefully by a fine brotha in one of those brown little short sets that UPS hands out to their drivers (yes dammit! I know it is only 50 degrees outside)

I bought a box of 24 ice cream sandwiches. I have been eating at least two sometimes three a day. Is that normal? I mean, I know if I was 7 it would be…but…aaa, I’m not. Add another 30 onto that. I was talking to her and mentioned my squishy in the middle…it’s even more squishier than ever before… I know it can’t look sexy, just can’t! But I just can not bring myself to sign up at a gym. I want to, really…but…there is something holding me… and those ice cream sandwiches be calling my name…all sexy like…oozing smooth vanilla squished between cake-like chocolate softness…
Y’all just don’t understand!

*ok, why did my hungry ass just bite into the paper wrapped ice cream sandwich… I swear after this box is gone…I refuse to buy another 24 ct box…I will go back to the 6 ct box…no matter how good of a deal the 24 ct is!!!*