Writing My Wrongs

I think that I have been in a totally different mindset since we had a talk…since I found out that he has “just friends”…and he is actually on a dating site…looking for…dates. He tried to hold onto what was left of a lie…tried to give me a plausible excuse as to why he was on the dating site… “he was looking to see if I was”.
Even I was disappointed with the ignorance of that excuse.
But then again, I am finding that I am disappointed 8 out of 10 times with this particular man. You’d think that he couldn’t disappoint me anymore than he already has.
I think…he comes up with ways to disappoint me…disappoint the love I thought I had for this person.
I am starting to wonder why I love him.
It’s getting harder and harder to come up with reasons that aren’t over shadowed by the reasons he gives me not to be.

I’ve sat back and thought about…
…why doesn’t he want my love anymore.
Not that I see all these things wrong with me…I am damn near perfect. Take away him making me insecure, jealous, and untrusting…which lead to my low self-esteem and depression…