Sunday, July 19, 2009
Short Overview...Long Post
I was in a texting showdown with Slish...
He told me I need to slow down. I had to reiterate that I am not on some racetrack. I am not doing anything but getting reaquainted...that didn't seem to eleviate his irritation. Blah! Either he thinks I am going to give the panties [and what's in them] to some random brotha-man and have someone panting after me like some love sick puppy...or he thinks I am going to jump into a relationship to offset the wack shit I just left. All in all, I am not as vulnerable as he seems to think I am.
If I was wanting someones Mr. Goodbar...I didn't have to come to NYC and do that. I could have kept my ass in the greater DC area.
Fireman got it loud and clear at brunch today that I don't think of him in regards to marriage or long-term. He understood. Honestly, he did. That has never stopped him from "Spaghetti". My non-action/non-reaction has never stopped him from telling me he loves me. In that regard, he is unlike most men in that he doesn't weigh his feelings against mine...he says what he feels with no expectation.
This past week was a little busy but I swear there were two nights that I did nothing but stay home. Tuesday I had my first visitor and then I headed out with Amus and closed down Dinosaur complete with one Donkey Punch too many. I went and had dinner by myself at Pomodoro on Columbus after coming from B&N. AJ told me to pick up WomenWhoRunWithTheWolves...and once I skimmed the chapters...there was one that stood out more than any other...
Chapter 5 Skeleton Woman: Facing the Life/Death/Life Nature of Love
I haven't gotten that far yet. Matter of fact I am only on page 12 I think...that hasn't even started a chapter yet...still in the foreward.
I was invited to a Chico DeBarge record release; Chico and Joe.
I invited the biggest Yankee fan I know to the Yankee game on Friday.
Got rained out around the 8th inning. Here is my Yankee memorable cup. I am not sure where that is right now, odd.
Saturday I went to the Harlem Book Fair and once again...was sadly disappointed how small and ghetto [lit] the fair was. I met up with 2 friends at Central Park to watch QTip at summerstage and then had two tickets I'd purchased, arond the same time as the yankee tickets, to go to BB Kings for a soul concert.
Today I went to brunch then headed to Central Park once again for a picnic with Berry and her friends. Ended up being there all day. I witnessed a bride and groom...or a quincenera.
This morning I had to change out my purse and left my cell phone on my bed. I was only expecting a call from one person but chances were...that person wouldn't/couldn't leave their place anyway. So I was cellphone-less today until I got home.
While at the game on Friday...I was sitting drinking my beer and snapping peanuts open and throwing the shells all over that new stadium...it felt like a magical night...for me. But as I sat there on a warm and humid night watching the game I thought of him for the first time without malice. He would have liked the new stadium, he would have enjoyed himself...and then I thought...of his very last words to me as he yelled at me in front of my home...and shake my head.
I am glad he wasn't there with me. Glad he is with his wife and whoever else he decides he needs to make him feel like a man. 'Cause there is no way in hell he could be satisfied with what he's chosen, he'd always need more.
But, for once in the past month...I was ok with thinking of him in a good way.
He told me I need to slow down. I had to reiterate that I am not on some racetrack. I am not doing anything but getting reaquainted...that didn't seem to eleviate his irritation. Blah! Either he thinks I am going to give the panties [and what's in them] to some random brotha-man and have someone panting after me like some love sick puppy...or he thinks I am going to jump into a relationship to offset the wack shit I just left. All in all, I am not as vulnerable as he seems to think I am.
If I was wanting someones Mr. Goodbar...I didn't have to come to NYC and do that. I could have kept my ass in the greater DC area.
Fireman got it loud and clear at brunch today that I don't think of him in regards to marriage or long-term. He understood. Honestly, he did. That has never stopped him from "Spaghetti". My non-action/non-reaction has never stopped him from telling me he loves me. In that regard, he is unlike most men in that he doesn't weigh his feelings against mine...he says what he feels with no expectation.
This past week was a little busy but I swear there were two nights that I did nothing but stay home. Tuesday I had my first visitor and then I headed out with Amus and closed down Dinosaur complete with one Donkey Punch too many. I went and had dinner by myself at Pomodoro on Columbus after coming from B&N. AJ told me to pick up WomenWhoRunWithTheWolves...and once I skimmed the chapters...there was one that stood out more than any other...
Chapter 5 Skeleton Woman: Facing the Life/Death/Life Nature of Love
I haven't gotten that far yet. Matter of fact I am only on page 12 I think...that hasn't even started a chapter yet...still in the foreward.
I was invited to a Chico DeBarge record release; Chico and Joe.
I invited the biggest Yankee fan I know to the Yankee game on Friday.
Got rained out around the 8th inning. Here is my Yankee memorable cup. I am not sure where that is right now, odd.
Saturday I went to the Harlem Book Fair and once again...was sadly disappointed how small and ghetto [lit] the fair was. I met up with 2 friends at Central Park to watch QTip at summerstage and then had two tickets I'd purchased, arond the same time as the yankee tickets, to go to BB Kings for a soul concert.
Today I went to brunch then headed to Central Park once again for a picnic with Berry and her friends. Ended up being there all day. I witnessed a bride and groom...or a quincenera.
This morning I had to change out my purse and left my cell phone on my bed. I was only expecting a call from one person but chances were...that person wouldn't/couldn't leave their place anyway. So I was cellphone-less today until I got home.
While at the game on Friday...I was sitting drinking my beer and snapping peanuts open and throwing the shells all over that new stadium...it felt like a magical night...for me. But as I sat there on a warm and humid night watching the game I thought of him for the first time without malice. He would have liked the new stadium, he would have enjoyed himself...and then I thought...of his very last words to me as he yelled at me in front of my home...and shake my head.
I am glad he wasn't there with me. Glad he is with his wife and whoever else he decides he needs to make him feel like a man. 'Cause there is no way in hell he could be satisfied with what he's chosen, he'd always need more.
But, for once in the past month...I was ok with thinking of him in a good way.
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 10:29 PM
Sumptin To Say:
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Sounds like the healing process is well underway and you are on your way to regaining your swagger... Now if you can only master the volume on the theme music.... LOL
@ KS: I can't even hear my own theme music anymore. I think I may have lost it somewhere. Sweet Sticky Thing might be getting old.
What should the new theme music be?
What should the new theme music be?
Never old!!!! Sweet sticky thing is a timeless classic. Furthermore you just can't go around switching theme music on the fly... It is part of what makes you who you are...
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