Monday, September 14, 2009
Random Date Ramblings
I don't know who makes up the rules/etiquette of dating but the way I see it is...if I/or you are not clicking it's ok to let the person know such and both parties can move on. I’ll come back to this at the bottom of this post…
So I told you about me doing this whole dating online thing...figured I'd meet men in my area and just go out for dates...meet men, hang out, have fun and get out of that funk I was in.
Well...I have met just 2 men online despite my month and change of being on BPM...
And both...well, I will call one a dud and the other one...a bigger dud. But obviously my love for asshole-ish ways has now stretched to liking duds...lol
Let me just say this real quick...if I hear one more man tell me that I am articulate or that I am cool as shit OR that I am not like other women...I swear fa golly-gee-whiz...I'mma stop dating all together. 'Cause seriously...what type of ignorant, uptight, cookie-cutter chicks are these guys dating if I am considered the cream of the crop [so to speak...in my own words...lol]
That’s not saying that I am not some kind of wonderful...'cause I am...but I am not even putting forth effort. Which means that, random chicks that are coming with their A-game are really playing against me with my half-assed efforts...
Which is a bigger tragedy for the woman that has a lot to offer. Because of random gatinha, the bar has been lowered as far as what men are willing to offer concerning time and effort. So many chicks are out there paying for dates, opening doors for themselves, being quiet when they should be speaking up, willing to share their “man” with other women, excepting any behavior just to be able to say she “ oo wee, look what I got” by having a man on her weekly calendar to validate who she is… and other miscellaneous bullshit that’s unacceptable.
My thing is…a man courts a woman he is interested in. And if a man isn’t sure what that means then he needs to definitely take time out to google that shit. If I am willing to treat you like I want you in my space…then be the man that puts forth effort that shows me that you want me in your space.
I understand that there are a ton of women that are doing just about anything to get your interest short of fucking you in the dairy aisle at the grocery store but really… you [men] feel validated by getting as much ass possible to ride the dick?…or is it even about sex…are men that lonely that they will take whatever is thrown at them like dogs waiting for scraps under a table...
Y’all do know that y’all are sometimes fucking with scraps, right?
Ok...I just convinced myself once again that I am the shit...even when I am working part-time...with a broken leg, one cock-eye and a sprained thumb...I am a formable competitor. My daddy told me I'd be good at something...he was just never clear on what it would be... Clearly though...I'm good at receba homens gostar de mim. I should take advantage of that...but for now...I'm a lazy dater and to be even more truthful...men aren’t all that much of a priority right now and I am not really feeling like I need to chase a muthafucka down, especially when I ain’t meaning to keep him for mine.
Yes, I like the chase of a game but not at the price where I am back flipping all ass backwards to be with someone that I am not going to walk once he’s been got. Just sayin’…if I can’t keep in half way real here then where could I…lol
Another sidenote: If a man isn’t in a position to date…then he shouldn’t! No, really! If you don’t have the time, the money, or are emotionally unavailable to be loved or love…then he should really take the time to figure his shit out without dragging a soft, emotional and open woman to take that journey with him…and making her take on his baggage…hell, not only taking it on but making her carry that shit…
He is less than desirable as a companion and even more so, as a man in general. Nothing is as unattractive as a man who is off center, needy and…bitchy. I can’t be your rib if you don’t even realize what it means to be a man in a male/female relationship.
I know that the last sidenote was contradictory to what I was saying about my view of dating right now…but…but…I can love, accept love and I know what fucking role I play in the relationship…I know how to play my position. I am open to a connection but believe me when I say, it’s not going to break me if I am not in one right at this moment…Really! I am fine cuddled up with my stuffed panda as I lie on his belly while I drink a beer and watch TrueBlood.
[Umm, wow…that sounded real freaky…isn’t there some sort of sexual fetish out there that involves stuffed animals? Hehe]
So one of my duds was a disappointment because I was digging on him but…he works for some rapper [which is a minus] and his scheduling is all off. He sets plans for a date and then calls me from the airport telling me he is headed out to some show or some such bullshit. The one thing that I liked was that he was calling me from the hotel room phone to prove he wasn’t sitting his chocolaty-dimpled-ass up in Brooklyn while he was telling me he was in Seattle. Another thing is that every single morning and evening without fail he’d either text me or call me to say good morning and good night. Its little things like that that make me sit up and take notice. I get hooked on routine attention as I am sure most people do.
Speaking of that, I should be a little more cognizant of being more routine with my attention showing skills…maybe…yeah, maybe.
So…his schedule and my need for attention…plus needing someone to accompany me to all the functions I am invited to…well, I need someone in my life as a partner rather than an after-thought. But damn if he didn’t have potential…but with me moving out of the city…and him living in BK…I’d be farther away and it was already bullshit for us to match up schedules as it was…
So, I sent him a text…stank I know but, stank I am…
I could have called him but…really?! We aren’t in a relationship…it was brand new and limited…so I don’t feel bad about texting him. I had been ignoring his calls…just because…I was basically done and not really having the desire to even fake a conversation. He sent me a text asking me if I didn’t want him to contact me anymore…so I merely responded to his text. Cop out? Probably to a degree but…blah!
Besides random ass… I am just doing what I do...and that is neither good nor bad…
My controlled recklessness can be a little debilitating in that I haven’t written a damn thing since I have moved back to NYC…and if I don’t write, I don’t get...
Spending money like I was that girl, the one I was back then…but I’m not…I am an old hag in the now... well, on the younger side of the hag age…but haggish all the same.
My mind wonders and I can’t focus as you can probably tell from this post since I have wandered all over this page, I am hoping that come the 1st…it will all start to smooth out because I need to get my groove back… I am pleasantly surprised to have taken advantage of NYC’s summer as soon as I got back. Jumping feet first into the grime of New York…
Like JZ said…
…since I made it here, I can make it anywhere.
In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
these streets will make you feel brand new,
the lights will inspire you,
lets here it for New York, New York, New York
The best part of this song is Alicia but y’all know U have a girl crush on her.
B~E~Z y’all and don’t hurt nobody.
So I told you about me doing this whole dating online thing...figured I'd meet men in my area and just go out for dates...meet men, hang out, have fun and get out of that funk I was in.
Well...I have met just 2 men online despite my month and change of being on BPM...
And both...well, I will call one a dud and the other one...a bigger dud. But obviously my love for asshole-ish ways has now stretched to liking duds...lol
Let me just say this real quick...if I hear one more man tell me that I am articulate or that I am cool as shit OR that I am not like other women...I swear fa golly-gee-whiz...I'mma stop dating all together. 'Cause seriously...what type of ignorant, uptight, cookie-cutter chicks are these guys dating if I am considered the cream of the crop [so to speak...in my own words...lol]
That’s not saying that I am not some kind of wonderful...'cause I am...but I am not even putting forth effort. Which means that, random chicks that are coming with their A-game are really playing against me with my half-assed efforts...
Which is a bigger tragedy for the woman that has a lot to offer. Because of random gatinha, the bar has been lowered as far as what men are willing to offer concerning time and effort. So many chicks are out there paying for dates, opening doors for themselves, being quiet when they should be speaking up, willing to share their “man” with other women, excepting any behavior just to be able to say she “ oo wee, look what I got” by having a man on her weekly calendar to validate who she is… and other miscellaneous bullshit that’s unacceptable.
My thing is…a man courts a woman he is interested in. And if a man isn’t sure what that means then he needs to definitely take time out to google that shit. If I am willing to treat you like I want you in my space…then be the man that puts forth effort that shows me that you want me in your space.
I understand that there are a ton of women that are doing just about anything to get your interest short of fucking you in the dairy aisle at the grocery store but really… you [men] feel validated by getting as much ass possible to ride the dick?…or is it even about sex…are men that lonely that they will take whatever is thrown at them like dogs waiting for scraps under a table...
Y’all do know that y’all are sometimes fucking with scraps, right?
Ok...I just convinced myself once again that I am the shit...even when I am working part-time...with a broken leg, one cock-eye and a sprained thumb...I am a formable competitor. My daddy told me I'd be good at something...he was just never clear on what it would be... Clearly though...I'm good at receba homens gostar de mim. I should take advantage of that...but for now...I'm a lazy dater and to be even more truthful...men aren’t all that much of a priority right now and I am not really feeling like I need to chase a muthafucka down, especially when I ain’t meaning to keep him for mine.
Yes, I like the chase of a game but not at the price where I am back flipping all ass backwards to be with someone that I am not going to walk once he’s been got. Just sayin’…if I can’t keep in half way real here then where could I…lol
Another sidenote: If a man isn’t in a position to date…then he shouldn’t! No, really! If you don’t have the time, the money, or are emotionally unavailable to be loved or love…then he should really take the time to figure his shit out without dragging a soft, emotional and open woman to take that journey with him…and making her take on his baggage…hell, not only taking it on but making her carry that shit…
He is less than desirable as a companion and even more so, as a man in general. Nothing is as unattractive as a man who is off center, needy and…bitchy. I can’t be your rib if you don’t even realize what it means to be a man in a male/female relationship.
I know that the last sidenote was contradictory to what I was saying about my view of dating right now…but…but…I can love, accept love and I know what fucking role I play in the relationship…I know how to play my position. I am open to a connection but believe me when I say, it’s not going to break me if I am not in one right at this moment…Really! I am fine cuddled up with my stuffed panda as I lie on his belly while I drink a beer and watch TrueBlood.
[Umm, wow…that sounded real freaky…isn’t there some sort of sexual fetish out there that involves stuffed animals? Hehe]
So one of my duds was a disappointment because I was digging on him but…he works for some rapper [which is a minus] and his scheduling is all off. He sets plans for a date and then calls me from the airport telling me he is headed out to some show or some such bullshit. The one thing that I liked was that he was calling me from the hotel room phone to prove he wasn’t sitting his chocolaty-dimpled-ass up in Brooklyn while he was telling me he was in Seattle. Another thing is that every single morning and evening without fail he’d either text me or call me to say good morning and good night. Its little things like that that make me sit up and take notice. I get hooked on routine attention as I am sure most people do.
Speaking of that, I should be a little more cognizant of being more routine with my attention showing skills…maybe…yeah, maybe.
So…his schedule and my need for attention…plus needing someone to accompany me to all the functions I am invited to…well, I need someone in my life as a partner rather than an after-thought. But damn if he didn’t have potential…but with me moving out of the city…and him living in BK…I’d be farther away and it was already bullshit for us to match up schedules as it was…
So, I sent him a text…stank I know but, stank I am…
I could have called him but…really?! We aren’t in a relationship…it was brand new and limited…so I don’t feel bad about texting him. I had been ignoring his calls…just because…I was basically done and not really having the desire to even fake a conversation. He sent me a text asking me if I didn’t want him to contact me anymore…so I merely responded to his text. Cop out? Probably to a degree but…blah!
Besides random ass… I am just doing what I do...and that is neither good nor bad…
My controlled recklessness can be a little debilitating in that I haven’t written a damn thing since I have moved back to NYC…and if I don’t write, I don’t get...
Spending money like I was that girl, the one I was back then…but I’m not…I am an old hag in the now... well, on the younger side of the hag age…but haggish all the same.
My mind wonders and I can’t focus as you can probably tell from this post since I have wandered all over this page, I am hoping that come the 1st…it will all start to smooth out because I need to get my groove back… I am pleasantly surprised to have taken advantage of NYC’s summer as soon as I got back. Jumping feet first into the grime of New York…
Like JZ said…
…since I made it here, I can make it anywhere.
In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
these streets will make you feel brand new,
the lights will inspire you,
lets here it for New York, New York, New York
The best part of this song is Alicia but y’all know U have a girl crush on her.
B~E~Z y’all and don’t hurt nobody.
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 10:28 AM
Sumptin To Say:
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Random gatinha (blushing) truly has lowered the bar for women that are seeking courtship. Generally speaking men these days take the path of least resistance. I had someone tell me (and you confirmed it in your post) that essentially if you are a half-way attractive guy all you really have to do is speak just enough not to mess things up and you can get all kinds of sex thrown your way. Initially when I heard this I thought back to my earlier days and was like why was it not like that when I was out there dating (I digress)… but as I have matured (shut it up) I, like most men eventually realize that life is about more than just random gatinha (still blushing). What is the saying when I was I child, I acted like a child and spoke like a child but when I matured I put away childish things… Bottom line, there are a lot of immature guys running around pretending to be mature (steps off box, and walks away to find a mirror to do some self reflection).
I always knew you were a "femme fatale". The fact that you could tell a man to just "beat it", and probably in both senses of the phrase, over a text message just confirms it. There is probably a long trail of broken hearts that lead to your door.
All I can say is that it's a good thing that you're not a man, otherwise you'd be giving them the goodbye fuck just to seal the bargain like I do.
All I can say is that it's a good thing that you're not a man, otherwise you'd be giving them the goodbye fuck just to seal the bargain like I do.
Curious: I used to collect hearts. Everyone always thought I meant mens hearts. Odd.
I did the goodbye fuck once...to this day [4 years later] he still is trying to get back in my good graces.
No femme fatale...just an average chick meeting average guys.
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I did the goodbye fuck once...to this day [4 years later] he still is trying to get back in my good graces.
No femme fatale...just an average chick meeting average guys.
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