Saturday, June 24, 2006
I knew things would get complicated...and fast.
Ever come from a "date" that was totally uneventful...and you felt like your time would have been better spent watching a re-run of Law n Order...for the umpteenth time?
Ever had that cat you use to hang with. Might have thought that given the boost of sinlgedom energy you just aquired, you thought that you could work with what was there....then realized a two months into the game....you finally sexed him and it didn't work.
Well I use to think that, had I not hand the complication of Hoody from the Bronx in the picture, that I could have easily fallen for T.I.M. Mansion in Rockland county, a "millionaire", nice car, nice job...and a MI.T graduate. He wanted...nary I say needed a wife...and for some dumb ass reason he thought Bloopty was marriage material. My thoughts of whoring myself out with aspirations of becoming a rich man's wife was about to pay off. We had sex. My aspiration went down the damn toilet like the soggy condom he had just taken off.
Now I am a thick chick. Not that type of thick chick that makes a man say "ooh baby" or "GOTDAMN"....but the kind of thick chick that makes a man say..."damn, she got a little squishy in the middle, I can hang with that...for a minute". Well T.I.M. was narrow...narrow like skinny....granted, he had some nice arms and runners thighs...but no meat 'round the middle....and to be truthful...that's the part I like. Not fat, not chunky, not husky...but a little pudgy. He had next to zero fat on his body.
Not a good look. LOL
If I can wrap my arms around you the way a dude does a chick...then muthafucka...you are too small for me. I like a broad back and I like taking little nibbles on the sides...I like lightly rubbing my face against the hairline that sexily starts to dip into your boxers...on the belly where it's the softest, I like being able to come up behind you and wrap my arms around you and NOT have my arms being jabbed by your damn rib bones. Or have your freakin' hipbones counter jabbin' my damn hipbones as your grinding trying to "get me in the mood".
He was skinny....all parts of him. Dick included. No healthy meaty dick...but a hard narrow ass pointing thing jabbing all hard. Dude, what happened to the meaty part of the head? You know, the h.e.a.d. The part that seems to pulsate when it's swollen to the point of exploding...where is that?
Yesterday at work...he IM's me
SIDENOTE: If I haven't spoke to you in 2 consecutive months...I am taking you off my buddy list. Which is a good thing but can also be the bain of Instant Messaging...for the simple fact that JUST because I took you off doesn't mean you have taken me off...which means you know when I am online when I could careless when your on. I have to come up with a new strategy in removing muthafuckas out my personal space...and I am not talking about blocking. I think that is SO gay. If you can't fucken tell someone to stop IMing you, then your a punk....
So he IM's me and ask if I have plans this weekned. Of course I don't because I just broke up with T.I, so I tell him I am free with the exception of the Sat morning excursion with Venom. He asks if we can meet up... huh?...well...sure I guess.
As soon as I agreed to it
I knew that at some point on the evening of Saturday June 24th...T.I.M. was going to get pissed.
'Cause I like hanging out with him....but I ain't tryna make you my man. Yea, we hit once but....damn....I was sleeping in your bed 2 months before that and have slept in your bed HELLA times after the act and never asked for the dick....shouldn't he have gotten the hint that I had slipped him into the like-you-more-than-a-friend-but-I-ain't-tryna-make-you-my-man-just wanna-hang-out-and-cuddle-every-now-and-then-and-I-sure-as-hell-don't-want-to-fuck-you-ever-again catergory?????
He treated me to dinner at Baton Rouge, then took me to see The Omen....he kissed me twice on my head/hair (which I don't know how he could have done that considering my mop needs to be washed STAT!), put his arms around me in the movie because it was cold, let me share his umbrella....
Then that muthafuckenscooter smashed off before I had the chance to get my foot out of his car.
"Thank you for dinner and the movies. It was nice seeing you again. Have a safe drive home and call me to let me know you got home ok. Nite."
Then I tried to get out of the car before he took half my body with his car....
Ya think I was suppose to have given him a kiss goodbye....or offered him to come up to my little piece of "serenity now"??
Fuck that!
He took a gamble when he asked me out. Knowing our history, don't think a year has changed my mind unless of course a year has changed your dick, YO! Or whoever was occupying your time this past 12 months has cooked some steak and potatoes for yer lil nai-ra ass.
*damn, I kinda forgot what single was like....grrrrreat, now I got dumb shit like this to look forward to from random ass guys who got small OR skinny OR impotent dicks. I'd like to give a special shout out to The Itch for putting me back in this hellish rat-race of "dating".....yea, here's to you being a complete bi-polar ass with control and jealousy issues...thanksafuckinglot TI!
Ever come from a "date" that was totally uneventful...and you felt like your time would have been better spent watching a re-run of Law n Order...for the umpteenth time?
Ever had that cat you use to hang with. Might have thought that given the boost of sinlgedom energy you just aquired, you thought that you could work with what was there....then realized a two months into the game....you finally sexed him and it didn't work.
Well I use to think that, had I not hand the complication of Hoody from the Bronx in the picture, that I could have easily fallen for T.I.M. Mansion in Rockland county, a "millionaire", nice car, nice job...and a MI.T graduate. He wanted...nary I say needed a wife...and for some dumb ass reason he thought Bloopty was marriage material. My thoughts of whoring myself out with aspirations of becoming a rich man's wife was about to pay off. We had sex. My aspiration went down the damn toilet like the soggy condom he had just taken off.
Now I am a thick chick. Not that type of thick chick that makes a man say "ooh baby" or "GOTDAMN"....but the kind of thick chick that makes a man say..."damn, she got a little squishy in the middle, I can hang with that...for a minute". Well T.I.M. was narrow...narrow like skinny....granted, he had some nice arms and runners thighs...but no meat 'round the middle....and to be truthful...that's the part I like. Not fat, not chunky, not husky...but a little pudgy. He had next to zero fat on his body.
Not a good look. LOL
If I can wrap my arms around you the way a dude does a chick...then muthafucka...you are too small for me. I like a broad back and I like taking little nibbles on the sides...I like lightly rubbing my face against the hairline that sexily starts to dip into your boxers...on the belly where it's the softest, I like being able to come up behind you and wrap my arms around you and NOT have my arms being jabbed by your damn rib bones. Or have your freakin' hipbones counter jabbin' my damn hipbones as your grinding trying to "get me in the mood".
He was skinny....all parts of him. Dick included. No healthy meaty dick...but a hard narrow ass pointing thing jabbing all hard. Dude, what happened to the meaty part of the head? You know, the h.e.a.d. The part that seems to pulsate when it's swollen to the point of exploding...where is that?
Yesterday at work...he IM's me
SIDENOTE: If I haven't spoke to you in 2 consecutive months...I am taking you off my buddy list. Which is a good thing but can also be the bain of Instant Messaging...for the simple fact that JUST because I took you off doesn't mean you have taken me off...which means you know when I am online when I could careless when your on. I have to come up with a new strategy in removing muthafuckas out my personal space...and I am not talking about blocking. I think that is SO gay. If you can't fucken tell someone to stop IMing you, then your a punk....
So he IM's me and ask if I have plans this weekned. Of course I don't because I just broke up with T.I, so I tell him I am free with the exception of the Sat morning excursion with Venom. He asks if we can meet up... huh?...well...sure I guess.
As soon as I agreed to it
I knew that at some point on the evening of Saturday June 24th...T.I.M. was going to get pissed.
'Cause I like hanging out with him....but I ain't tryna make you my man. Yea, we hit once but....damn....I was sleeping in your bed 2 months before that and have slept in your bed HELLA times after the act and never asked for the dick....shouldn't he have gotten the hint that I had slipped him into the like-you-more-than-a-friend-but-I-ain't-tryna-make-you-my-man-just wanna-hang-out-and-cuddle-every-now-and-then-and-I-sure-as-hell-don't-want-to-fuck-you-ever-again catergory?????
He treated me to dinner at Baton Rouge, then took me to see The Omen....he kissed me twice on my head/hair (which I don't know how he could have done that considering my mop needs to be washed STAT!), put his arms around me in the movie because it was cold, let me share his umbrella....
Then that muthafuckenscooter smashed off before I had the chance to get my foot out of his car.
"Thank you for dinner and the movies. It was nice seeing you again. Have a safe drive home and call me to let me know you got home ok. Nite."
Then I tried to get out of the car before he took half my body with his car....
Ya think I was suppose to have given him a kiss goodbye....or offered him to come up to my little piece of "serenity now"??
Fuck that!
He took a gamble when he asked me out. Knowing our history, don't think a year has changed my mind unless of course a year has changed your dick, YO! Or whoever was occupying your time this past 12 months has cooked some steak and potatoes for yer lil nai-ra ass.
*damn, I kinda forgot what single was like....grrrrreat, now I got dumb shit like this to look forward to from random ass guys who got small OR skinny OR impotent dicks. I'd like to give a special shout out to The Itch for putting me back in this hellish rat-race of "dating".....yea, here's to you being a complete bi-polar ass with control and jealousy issues...thanksafuckinglot TI!
# posted by Blah Blah Blah : 2:01 PM
