Writing My Wrongs

I don't have tons to gab about. I rarely remember my stories and when I do...I rarely tell them because it requires too much thought. Yea, call it lazy. I don't have important shit going on. I find humor in the oddest things but don't feel like conveying that. I don't even call my daddy and I love that man like theres no tomorrow. The only people that I find things to talk about with are the boys...and that's more because they are kids and everything they see is colorful.

But for me to pick up the phone and call you....well it's not going to happen unless...well unless I have something to say. I hate to be one the phone when someone has nothing to say. For instance, I just got a call about 30 minutes ago...and I am still irritated by it (mostly because I have a cold from sleeping with the A/C on AND the fact that it's a gazillion degrees in NYC today AND because I have a fucken sunburn from being out at the damn Yankees game yesterday (I don't even like the Yankees)...so yea, I am still irritated. The call went a little something like...

Phone rings...my standard greeting...
"hey you"
"whatcha doin?"
"headed to the bank to deposit this $100,000 check"
all excited, "word"
"don't get excited, it's for my job."
"what are you doing tonight?"
"thinking about this free concert up at Grant's Tomb"
"what's your schedule for the week?"
"not sure yet, just waiting until the next thing pops up. what are you doing?"
"talking to you"

That comment right there...is what got me irritated. Don't fucken call me and be a smart ass muthafucka! You asked me a question, I answer it. I ask you a question and get a smart ass comment? Da fuck is that about...bitch! You called me...what we are supposed to be doing is exchanging information and that my dear friend is called...communication.

"i know your talking to me...what were you doing before you called?"
"what's with all the questions?"
"look idiot...you called me. is there something you wanted to say because this bullshit your doing right now is using up my minutes...so dealing with you and walking to the bank that takes me right past the Empire State building which means I have to deal with these idiot tourist who stop and look up every 5 steps....and this freaking hot ass weather....makes me a little less tolerant of this unnecesary phone call.......... So what exactly did you call me for?"

silence

"man bloop, I'm just saying....."
"naw dude...you ain't just sayin....you ain't just sayin' shit...so call me back when you figure out what the fuck you just sayin'"

Ok...yea, I did go overboard...but it's effin' hot as hades and he wasn't saying shit.

Don't call me asking me..."whatcha doing"...does is matter what the fuck I am doing? Just tell me what you called for.
You called to hear my voice...niiice.
You called me to tell me something...niiice.
You called because you ain't got shit else to do but ask me mundane questions about what the fuck I'm doing....fuck that! I have a cacophony of thoughts flowing in and out my conscious realm and you fuck up that flow by calling to say... whatcha doin'...... best believe next time I see your number in my cell...your getting nothing but...

"Hey you. I am unavailable right now but leave your name and number and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible."

...I am all woman.

I've always prided myself on being versatile.

I am more likely, on a Sunday afternoon, to turn on the game and park my flass (those of you not in the know...flat + ass = flass) in front of a tv with a 6-pack of Heinken and a medium pizza by myself...than go shopping with the girls.

I am more apt to go play pool on a first date, talk shit and laugh with a beer in my hand...than to dress up all cute and sexy, to listen to a dude spout out his "resume" of where he works, where he lives and what kind of car he has and what his 5-year plan is.

I am more apt to feel his body...than to silently wish he'd make the first move.

I'm more apt to hold on to your secrets than "bitch out" and tell all your business. Integrity to me is more than just a word that looks and sounds noble.

I have no problem baiting a hook, gutting my fish and spending a day out on a boat smelling like fish.

Yet, all in all, I am a woman.

I love a man. The thougth of a man. The reality of a man.
...I'm woman enough to admit...I need a man.
My heart yearns, my heart sometimes hurts...
I fall in love at a drop of a hat.
I laugh and giggle.
I hate to cry...but I do.
I am soft and supple...smooth and sexy.
I ain't a man....ain't tryna be a man.

I am versatile.

You won't find me professing that I have male tendencies. I like what I like and I love what I love.
I love..
beer (pale ale please)
I loooove playing pool (...and I will probably cry when they close down my pool spot after the winter leagues)
I ain't Nikki...but I love my RAIDERS like no other. RAIDER fans are the best fans out there. Bleed silver and black. (Culpepper, Moss...and yes, I'd marry Jerry Porter EVEN though he's a youngun)

yet don't get me wrong...
I love shoes like you would not believe...seriously...NO! Seriously!
I love to feel sexy and like when a man knows how to use that word (most men apply that to anyone that's scantly clad...or who they are tryna fuck)
I love getting maincures and those long ass foot massages after a pedicure
I love the feel of my pussy mound after a brazillian wax (yes, I do touch myself constantly....you know, they way men are always touching their dick, as if it has gone somewhere in the last 5 minutes...for some reason, they seem to think they must have lost it...lol)
I love the hot breath of a man as he whispers in my ear
...and I love how he carresses my boobies as he whispers in my ear.

I am blunt but I am emotional. I am jaded but I still dream for that fairytale. I can yell "fuck it and you!" when I am fed up but I can softly tell him, that I love the way he makes me aspire to be a better me. I'm nasty as fuck and I am extremely sensual. I am wishy-washy, I am decisive. I'm "real" as they come but I am as flighty as they go...

Too many woman revel in "thinking" like a man, "acting' like a dude...it's like that is a badge of honor for them. Naw, baby...not for me. Don't mistake me for a man, a dude, being macho...with male tendencies.

You'll definitely insult me. You insult my daddy...a 21 year old man who took it upon himself to raise his 1 year old daughter by himself. He made me what I am...and I am proud of him...raising me...a beautiful...all encompassing...WOMAN.

So, when I speak of being just a female...and speak of being a broads...it's not so much an insult because they know what they are. Their rough just like the words sound.
A woman, a lady...she glories in being. just. that. She likes when she knows that she's being watched...and she loves when it's a man doing the watching. She doesn't need to be "hard", she doesn't need to tell every man she meets that she can "hang" with the best of them. If your a man who loves a "ride or die"...that's fine. Yet, a woman...who loves herself...has integrity...values her sanity...ride and dies for what she believes in, rather than what someone expects of her... and if you become her focus and she sets her heart in believing in you!!!
Well, that's the kind of woman that will have you in glory being all. man!

Know the difference...

I am all woman!

...I forget.

The last two days I've had an idea of what I was gonna post about. However, by the time I made it to a computer...I forgot. I mean forgot forgot. It's not even sitting there on the tip of my tongue, the edge of my conciousness, on the verge of my thoughts...just plain ol' gone.

So I will talk about something that's very near and dear to my heart. Something that I use to have in excess but I cut my intake down to half, down to a few, down to minimal consumption and now...down to none.

D.I.C.K.

...so this post is appreciation of the male anatomy..and for all my female friends who have altered their dick intake to once or twice a month...or down to none.

Ode to the Dick...
*slow, heavy, drawn out trumpet play mixed with some snare drums for added accent...as I set the mood to my soliloquy to...
the dick*

DICK is such a beautiful part of a man's anatomy.
All different in their same-ness.
Looking at one man...you'd never know that he held a magnificent massive dick in his draw'rs. Some veiny, some smooth, some nice dark cherry heads and some dark brown shafts on tan bodies. Short ones with that girth that makes it impossible for our fingers to touch when we are holding it...carressing it like it's ours
...about to get reaquainted mouthically. Lips to head, tongue to slit, throat to shaft then back up again as you repeat... the reaquaitting.
Smooth as butter, soft as a baby's butt...your dick...in my hand makes my pussy twitch. Makes my sugar walls run with sweet sap onto my red lace thong... Feeling your cum...all on my hand as I firmly stroke your hard, thick, sweet dick...
I like to take your dick and rub it's head on the lips of my pussy just to say "Hello" and let you know ...you've got a friend in me...in me.
Rubbing your liquid love all over my stomach and when you cum on my ass...
I love to feel it run down the small of my back to my ass....I sometimes hold my cheeks apart...gripping my ass and letting the strawberry head of your dick rub up and down ....please...can you do that again.
I sometimes can not breath, thinking about your cock in me... ramming me with the points you've made
...in trying to let me know...
that you desire this...desire me...
cherish my thing, that makes your thing...flow with molten liquid heat.
Our juices are now mixing...into this delicious recipe of hot sizzling gourmet pussy souffle ...that your devine cock has stirred and seasoned.
My mouth waters at the thought of taking you in...inch by inch. I've never been all that chaste with a dick in my mouth...how could I? So when you think back on how wet I was...know that just like a the smell of mangoes on a spring day...makes my mouth water...so does your dick. I want to rub you against my lower lip as my tongue snakes out to flick the harden ridge that pulsates with needed release. I'll take it and swirl it...make love to your dick with my mouth. I can make you cry...don't want to but with the wild abandon I display when I am pleasing your dick...loving your dick...I've been known to bring a man to tears.
To the grandest penis, on down to the average penis...your beautiful to me. You make me want to comfort you, take care of you, hold you, cherish you...and when I am feeling naughty, in need of redemption...I'll bow down to you and worship you.

As I've said before...
You've got a friend in me.

My Ode

Here I am again on a Friday afternoon at 1:20...J told me I to leave now or hang out if I want... If I leave, what will I do? *huge sigh*

I could catch up on sleep from Wednesday night. I hung out with ol' B a little on Wednesday going to a bogus music session that ended up being WHACK...main reason being that it was set for a 7:00 performance time and we waited until 9:15 before we said eff this place and left. He still hadn't come on the "stage" by 9:15...da eff is that about? I got home and was about to wash my hair when I thought of my bestfriend in town from Oakland, NoCal
(I've renamed California...we now have 52 states...NoCal and SoCal...NoCal of course being the best of both!)
Either way, I called him...took him forever to call me back...in the interim I took a shower and washed my hair. He calls to say he is on his way up to the apt. Now I am thinking...well damn...it's 11 at night...da hell he coming over here for...does not occur to me that he is looking for some ass in Harlem. After all, this is my boy 50 grand...through and through and back again.

D-dubya has been my bestfriend since the day I met him...rather the night I met him.

*wavy lines go across your screen as we step back in time...like a dream scene from a tv show*

The year: 2000
The Place: Oa.ktree night club on Em.abarcadero in the Jac.k L.on.don section of Oa.kland (the artsy affluent young part of Oakland...nothing but lofts and high priced "apartment condos", where I lived)...music has stopped and people are milling around because it's time to close shop and roll out to the after-hours spot or to grab something to eat at the late night chinese diner down the street in chinatown.

I'm standing on the wall looking mad in my fly ass outfit that I mentioned in this story. I looked so lean...so clean...and at 3 in da morning...so mean! Where the hell are the chicks that I came with!!...knowing Crooked-letter, she's probably in the back alley of the club effing some new dick she just met. The other three are probably wandering around the club hoping someone will be drunk enough to ask for their number.

Sidenote: The girls I hang with in CA are beautiful...after all, it's cali....but IF I WAS A DUDE I wouldn't talk to nary a one of them broads...stuck up biotches that they are...yea, I use to hang with the bougie chicks...and no...I ain't one...eff what you heard!

back to story....*wavy lines again*

So I am standing on the wall looking all 'licious and shit.
Standing with my hand on my hip and my right leg extended a little with a smirk on my face (yea, I'm mad that I have to wait for these itches to get my grub on...but frowning causes wrinkles...so I smirk. Smirking gives the impression that I am mildly amused at something (usually when I've noticed something stupid)...and if I am looking at you directly, your gonna wonder if you should or shouldn't come over but I got your attention none-the-less. If I give you my full-on smile that means your ass better be taking that que and walking towards me with the job of dazzling me.

So smirk, RIGHT outfit and my deep brown long hair is shining...yet...I'm vexed 'cause I'm the one with my own car...(that's how I do in Cal, I come when I want and leave when I want)...vex'd because I can leave...damn, then why am I holding this dmn wall up *mind you, I am saying this shit in my head* lol

I look down and to my left...(head now down because I done made eye contact with too many damn nasty muthafuckas...I avoid eye contact), to my right is a group of guys all dressed GQ Esq. I love a man that can effortlessly put together an outfit that is expensive (noticed by a decerning eye) but not ostentatious to where your intimidated. After all, what woman wants to be with a man whose outfit gets more notice than she does... Well, I am standing next to 5 men. They are talking in a circle...laughing and discussing where they were headed next.

All I see are legs....and shoes.

My fetish.........shoes.
Men shoes, kid shoes, women shoes, shoot...maybe even horseshoes....but shoes on a well dressed man...damn, my coochie just twitched. I ain't talkin' any ol' shoe.... a nice...designer or not...coordinating, non-wore out, well taken care of shoe can make me give you a number when I originally might not have.
5 men...10 legs...shoes.....*huge sigh*
I was so engrossed on my observation of who's shoe looked the best, which color I liked, which shoe had the best shine and least amount of wear....and yes, who's shoe was the biggest........
that I didn't notice that one lone foot had slid itself into the middle of this circle of men...as if to say

"look at me"

I stared at the shoe with a full on dreamy smile and sorta shook my head....ever so slowly I lifted my head and looked at the man who was attacehd to that foot that had on that shoe.........

DAMN!
.....the whole group was looking at me....and ALL OF THEM were fine as fuck (can fuck be fine or is fuck just good?) Reminicent of the pic, 2 post below...but these were men standing in a half circle...a couple with heads tilted to the side, one with arms crossed over his chest in a moc B-boy stance...but the one that belong to that foot inside of that shoe...he looked me dead on and smiled at me as if to say...caught ya staring! All I could do was bust out laughing... so what! I ain't too cute to laugh at myself...

They asked me which shoes was the nicest...asked me who had the best outfit...just plain ol' teasin' me for checking out their gear so intently...eff 'em! lol

D-dubya came over and we talked and exchanged numbers....

We talked on the phone and made a "date" for a month later, to go to the Sau.salito Art Festival in Marin County....ever since then...he has been my bestfriend. When I say that.....I am speaking of B.E.S.T.F.R.I.E.N.D. in the truest sense. We've gone 6 years of new jobs, new residence, new/old boy/girlfriends, maturing, laughing, talking, and manyother things. If you didn't think he was my brother...you'd think he was my man...we were close.

SO when he called me on Wednesday...at 11 pm...I said come on over. When he showed up at 12AM...I was dressed and met him at the train when he got off the A...and when he said, where's a place to get a drink and talk..........I ended up taking him 2 blocks over to St. Ni.cks Pub. It was not a problem..anything for my bestfriend. After all, I haven't seen him in a year.

We laughed, got tipsy...listened to a faux Etta James and reminiced...back and forth about "Remember When's"...

We got in at 2:30... I got up at 5:30, dressed for work as he slept with his face towards the fan, half under the sheet looking like a kid that sleeps hard... and then we took the train downtown...him to the Mil.lenium Hotel...and me to Park Ave to the daily grind.

He makes me miss Oa.kland. Dinner at his house, falling asleep on his damn black leather couch...waking up in the middle of the night stuck in place from said black leather couch...LOL Festivals, more 1st Friday's events than I care to remember, drunk nights on the kitchen floor talking shit, him making me breakfast on Sunday mornigs before church, waking along La.ke M.erritt in the rain, trips to LA and Riverside...

Yea, I miss my bestfriend.
He's "shopping" for a girlfriend that will hopefully turn into his wife one day. Whoever that chick is better realize she got herself a M.A.N. 'Cause if she fuck around...me and his momma will beat that chick down and I'll have to show her my famous drop-kick to the throat area...lol 'Cause, D-dubya ain't the type of man you fuck wit...he's the type of man you git with....(that's some of that ol' ghetto advice you give to your girl before she have the chance to fuck shit up with a cool dude...lol)

As you all can see, I have nothing to write about.

So I give you...

My Random Bits of Miscellaneous Bullshit...

ta daaaa...

~ If someone has to lose... I don't want to play, playing denies the fact that there is soo much to lose.

~ Things were are much more simpler before the loving, but isn't the latter what makes the world go round...or is it just what makes the ride worthwhile?

~ You weren't ready then and your not ready now. Look deep and long and think long and hard about what it is that means the most to you. Take some risk and be relaxed in knowing that you made the right decision. You can only love as much as you are willing to except and to give back...love is not a thought, it's a state of being...as well as, a madness for sure

~ No one ever reveals who they are. Especially if they think others won't like them, and noone ever reveals who they are in fear that others will not understand the twist and turns in their thinking, and noone reveals who they are, afraid to admit that they don't like who they are...or much worse, they don't KNOW who they are.

~ My daddy told me this when I moved to NYC.....
"There is no way that it could be a 'wrong' decision. God may have brought you to NY to take you to Carolina or NY may be your home - only you can plumb the depths of your inner person to discern the voice that leads you. Decisions are not financial, political, or cultural - they are always spiritual at their core. Of course, ANY decision you make will be successful if you fully commit to throwing your heart and soul into the venture. I am a witness that the Universe honors any intentional decision and rises up to be a partner in your ambitions."

~ Had a good Friday...a nice Saturday morning....a so-so Saturday evening...and a great Sunday. I have no plans for the week.

~ All in all, I have been acting on exposed nerves for a good part of 2006. Now is the time for healing.

~ My personal imbroglio appears to be simmering...

~ You Never Know When Your Fate...
...is gon' switch hand; get todays solid ground out of yesterdays quicksand. ~Dante Terrell Smith

~ What deep well do you draw from when your world starts to look like someone else's...someone you don't even know? where do you draw the strength to take one more step, to not give up, to not lose that little bit of hope that you see but is ever, just out of your reach. lying has and WILL always be an unpardonable solecium. i believe i am tolerant and i give room to everyones idiosyncrasies...but i do not understand what makes a person believe that ALL is tolerable...even the disrespect and dishonor. HONOR, do many people know what this word means?

~ We do his because we have no life. We are nerds...say your not if you'd like....

~ That time between dusk and dawn...when your body is fast asleep but your mind is thinking a trillion thoughts a minute...thinking of needing more sleep, clothes to wear, the next days workload, the man you saw on the train last week that you really should have given your business card to... Between dusk and dawn, so many things run through the mind.

~ I hate taking pictures...probably because I have a idiot type of smile...like the geek from debate class who always stumbled over her words when speaking to the high school quarterback...never fully dazzling...a little unsure and lopsided...well that's my smile!

~ I was there in my red-ish brown skin..what do they say...glistening with the perspiration that came from the friction, the heat that he and I created. I was hot, in more than one way and more ways than I thought possible. Burning from the inside out. I felt I was going to explode with this desire...

~ Hands on Nude Bible Study group meets every other Tuesday at 8:30pm.

~ I feel as if I can’t breath without you in me…around me and I feel as if I couldn’t even survive…to live, unless you were apart of me. I think of you, I long for you, I close my eyes and look for you

~ Since I tend to run thru men like flour thru a sift...(we can study the why's of that another day)...I have more stories to tell about them than my female friends. I could write a book about these sly little characters that we need in our life...yes, we women do need men!! Yet, I get tired of talking abut them...they've become boring.

~ Harlem Book Fair this weekend.

~ It was eerily quiet up in Harlem yesterday.... this weather has me thinking of California...if I was there...they'd be calling this earthquake weather.

~ This time last year I wrote about:
I sat by Reef and his sunshine Lee .... cute couple...not like cute looking, although they are an attractive couple...cute meaning....they look at eachother in a way that speaks love, fun, sensitivity and caring...ahh, to be in young and in love.... I could be a bitter bitch at this point and say something a wronged woman would say...but I won't...'cause I wanna be where they are right now, so I can do nothing but sit and appreciate the subtleness and the secretive-ness of their love and hope that as I sit next to them their love will permeate my soul and marinate my heart.... so when I meet my King... I'll be seasoned to his liking...his loving.... Dinner was great...but sitting next to love was even better.

Have a good week y'all....

a carousel of faces/places/words.

Seems as if I am getting my ass blasted for not posting my goings-on like I use to.....so this post is for nostalgia purposes... I give you...

My Weekend Update... (watered down version for those easily influenced)

Started last Thursday. ...I was suppose to play pool with a friend of mine on Thursday since I need to practice because league starts next month....and I haven't seen this particular friend in a minute. I got off early from work and went to get mani/pedi....and forgot about ol' dude at the pool hall!!! Thing about it is that I had just gotten off the phone with him maybe 2 hours before. Believe me ladies...this isn't the type of man a woman forgets *wink wink* Well....except I did...didn't I.... *huge sigh* When he called me to ask where the fuck I was....I had to lie.
I am thee worst liar of all time...seriously. I stutter and laugh through that shit...he of course didn't buy it and told me I suck. *double huge sigh*...I seem to have gotten a text message, a IM message and a phone call with people telling me...I suck. *heeheehee, my usual response is...yes, I do and I am very good at it*

Friday morning arrives, I take a shower and lay back down...call my job and tell them I am running late... I was just tired and lazy and didn't feel like rushing to work. I get a text message as I am leaving my pad mid-morning..."I'm the Juggernaunt, Bitch!!!" Ok, so Zed made it into town...lol
I got to work at approximately 11:15...I left work at approximately 12:45 to meet Zed and Will for lunch at Cabana's. Get down to South Street Seaport and this....African is having a shirt made...some bullshit that said...I heart KZ (if I see anyone of those blogger girlfriends wearing that shit...I am straight clowning!) Will got his food to go, Zed and I ended up staying in the restaurant until 3:30 then walking back to his hotel. Zed had to shave, change his clothes (he's a boxers man) and lay across the bed as we wait for the others.... 2 hours later Organized Noise came through with his cousin, we met up with Will and then we were off to Deweys to meet up with Slish, Berry and Cocoa Girl. The boys had a flashback moment...more like the whole evening...between ON doing his dance moves (he was remembering whole dance routines from New Edition) Will and Zed were doing back-up singing and reminiscing about when each song came out.
Will and I took a cab uptown...
(SOMEONE PLEASE ask Will about his tall girl/tall guy theory...PLEASE!!!)
... and I waited up until my Jersey piece came over....we took a walk around Harlem, just talking and laughing it was a wonderful night with a little breeze...we stayed up until 5AM.
I literally made him leave at 5:15... "you gotta go, my husband get's off at 5 and it takes him 30 minutes to get home" .... I then proceed to jump up and look out my window.... I guess he was like WTFuck?! and got dressed and left. I just needed some sleep because I had someone picking me up at 7AM and I knew I had a full day ahead of me...
Yea, he called me and asked me if I was serious about a husband...he sorta had an attitude! No baby, I wasn't serious....I just needed to sleep...by myself. He laughed and said..."I didn't think you were married!" *he-don't-know-me-vewy-well*

Two hours later I am up, showered and waiting on this dude to arrive. I am starving!

As y'all know, I wasn't going to Slish and Phoenix's BBQ... I had some unnecessary bullshit to get into. Once that bullshit was taken care of...I went shopping and then FINALLY back home, showered again and laying butt-booty-naked across the bed with the fan blowing....
In the last 72 hours I have only had an 4 hours of sleep. My body was hurting, my mind was racing and I still had plans for Saturday night and all day Sunday....so I rested on the 6th day; Saturday. Saturday at 10PM...I am up and at it again....FUCK!

Sunday morning arrives...replica of Saturday morning......
"husband's off at 5AM...blah blah and BLAH!" Jersey dude asked me...what I was doing for the day...explained it out in detail for him...he asked if it was with friends or was I spending the day with a "date"....HUH? Well....since you asked...it's more along the lines of a date.
....silence...."
"ok, well have a good day just don't have any fucking fun!"
I laughed because it was a stupid male comment...but don't think I didn't catalogue that shit in my memory bank for future reference. Just like I did when he text'd message me the later that afternoon.

Day is filled with 1) brunch 2) Zoo and 3) an arguement 4) Chi.li Cr.ab Sin.gap.ore F.est in BK by myself (While at this function I get a text message from the sleep-over...the text is...
"he's not as cute as I am"
"no baby, he's not as cute as you.....he may be nicer tho"
HA! Play with me muthafucka!
Next text...."how so"
Mine to him..."he bought me some stuff"....
"Is that all? I can buy you nice stuff too."
He fell into that sandtrap y'all....pray for him because he's about to have a bumpy ride dealing with me.)
5) RAIDER GAME THAT THEY WON 16-10 @ "young dude"s apartment, who I have decided is to be my muse for the remainder of summer 'cause he's TOO DAMN young for me to keep him around any longer...(summer ends this month, right?)
....and then, home by 11 so I can meet my friend from the last 2 nights at the apartment...
He left at 4:30AM because he had to be at work in Jersey....
Tonight the lovely Delaeuverses will be reading at Bar 13 on E. Houston (that's Hous-Ton...not Hooo-Stun, TX), so I will be seeing her tonight....

Iam too old for this shit...but I love being single. Like I always say...I'mma better friend than girlfriend.

So now you know, I do what I do... My weekdays are for networking, my weekends are not spent on partying and clubbing...my weekends are made for watering seeds I've already planted..... this shit needs to pay off soon...mama needs a new pair of shoes!

I just met him and he kissed me.
A kiss that made my toes curl, my pussy contract and my legs go weak.

Damn who is this man? ...and how the hell does he know how to handle me like this, he doesn't know me like that...well...not yet

I haven't had a kiss like that...or since then...that made me weak.
I don't know you...I just met you.
...no baby...you can't come up...you can't spend the night.

My nipples screamed at my mind, just stop thinking and go with the flow!! My lips were trying to hold back the words, whelming up in my throat...wanted me to just to follow the actions of my body.

He made me laugh and smile that first night. We sat side by side...only because we had an unwelcome guest sitting at our table. Yet, before her...I was shy...by the time she came...I was comfortable... after she left I was ready to let him make a home inside of me...to cum on in and make himself comfortable.

As he walked me around the corner to my apartment...I was wondering where this was going. Was he where I was? We came to my door and ... uncomfortable-ness.
A hug goodbye. It should have been that. It should have been.

It wasn't.

We slightly turned our heads towards eachother...

Y'aaaallllll.....

Fireworks came in August last year.

Not that big on kissing you see
...seems too personal.....too......involved
You, literally, throw alot of energy into an act that involves small body parts...lips.
Hands everywhere, pulling, grabbing, firmly holding...heads turning....bodies touching, folding in, covering, pressing together....lips sucking, pulling, biting, licking, plunging

He knows the purpose of those lips...
that tongue
...and the placement of his hands on my body.
Can't you see, the words to describe this man are indescribable. He made it possible for my mind to pull me in so many different directions. I never wanted another kiss like I wanted his. Never thought about kissing the way he has made me feel about them.

Almost a year later...and that damn man has me thinking about those damn kisses.
Has me wishing for a chance to feel the smooth inside of his warm mouth, to feel his tongue lick the corners of my mouth...bring the sides up into a smile, like the way a baby moves toward a hand on the cheek...we're drawn to what comforts us. To say his kiss is my security would be not too far from the truth. The tilt of his head, the lowered eyes...focused on my mouth and the wanton desire to making sure my mouth, my lips, my senses are pleasured...those damn kisses...

Where did you learn to seduce a woman like that? Can't be taught in schools...so who told you it was good to hold my face between your hands and draw me closer...
Closer...
Closer to your lips...
ever
so
slowly...
making me wait
Making me yearn...because I know what comes next...next comes
Your mouth on mine and mine on yours and then we become one.
Your fucking my mouth.
Dipping your tongue in and out in a dance that's made for lovers...that are laying down...but we're standing up!
In and out...a sensual dance...a wet dance...I'm dancing wet and it's from my head to my...toes; 'cause surely, I'm dripping down my leg.

You made me feel like a million bucks that night baby.

Yes, just from a kiss.
Thanks for walking me home from Ha.rlem G.rill.

This chick has made me HAVE to up my game. Not that I could get to her level but gotdamn....she makes me want to be a better me...lol...sorta

I've seen her before and wished...for her...on her...her.
Her dancing makes my dick hard...if I had one.

"can't you see baby, this is perfection"
...asi es perfecto...
Damn her. Fuck her. I want to do both...both!...and hard.

I want her to dance for me, on me, around me, with me. I want to hold her with one hand as our hips gyrate together...as my other hand touches...

Yea, I need for her to not move like that.
My sense can't take it.

As Wyclef says..."makes a man want to speak spanish" ...
I hate her but I want to be her... want to move like her.
Fuck her...now I have to sign up for belly dancing classes!
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Shakira - Hips Don't Lie

I was told today that I pamper myself too much.
Huh? Wha...? Huh?
What could she have possibly meant by "too much"... personally, I think I could never pamper myself too much. Matter of fact, I don't do nearly all the things I use to do for myself.

Nik sent me an email about a spa package and I was thinking $110 for all that is a helluva good deal. So I called a friend of mine to tell her about it and that's where she was like... "you pamper yourself too much, you should save your money!" AND she said it with a little hateration in her voice. You know that voice, all high, naselly and huffy-puffy.

Now, I know y'all think you know a little about how I respond to BULLSHIT, so this won't come as a surprise...
I simply said..."with them rusty feet you scratch up your mans legs with...I'dda thought you'd take your feet and his legs out of their misery and get them shits sandblasted at some point....AND what the fuck you mean I should save my money....you don't know my fucking financial situation to make a side-of-the-neck comment like that!"

She din't take to kindly to my friendly observation. I have no idea why *batting my eye-lashes*...she knows her feet need...pampering?...naw, CONSTRUCTION.
~~~~~~~~~~

I was talking to Jullllliiiiaaaan the other week ago. Talking about sweaty balls and whatnot. I was at Lo.rd & T.aylor and I watched this woman lift her leg.....as if she were trying to get her sweaty ball off her leg/her dick/her other sweaty ball

Sidenote: what does the sweaty-ball-lifting-of-the-leg actually stick to?

...I busted out laughing while I was on the phone...I told Juuullliiiiaaaan what I saw and he said... don't woman do that? No idiot, we do not lift our leg to seperate our sweaty pussy lips (well damn, I hope no female I KNOW does that....*looking at my blogroll and wondering*) He proceeds to ask if we sweat down there.... ummm, yyyeeeeaaa....bud-da....not me. LOL
He laughs and says women DO sweat down there and they sweat so much that it trickles down their leg.

nuuu-uuuh, no sir! *I said it just like that...like a little kid...no sir!*

He swears up and down they do. Me? I am still adamant in saying chicks don't...not unless'en they are big girls. He said not true...all do. I left it alone and started asking how he know about the bodily functions of women and what he does to eleviate his sweaty-ball'd-ness. Baby powder perhaps? We laughed and then the conversation switched to him wanting...nay, liking to taste the sweat between my legs....UGH! I told him I couldn't hear him and that I had static...of course he laughed at me and said I was a big fat liar....
huh? me lie? Getdafugouttahere...I ain't neva lied!
Still static...aaaannnnnddddd...goodbye. LOL
He called me right back and left a message saying I am full of shit and he's gonna feast when he sees me.... hmmm, what did he mean by that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~

So the above story is prelude to this story....
I was standing on the train today and I felt something running down my inside thigh.....MY SUNSHINE WAS SWEATING ON THE "A" TRAIN.....damn him for jinxing my cooch! Granted, it was 104 today, which means that down on the subway platform...it was quadrupled....making it a gajillion degrees. So, my sunshine has the right to glisten...as long as she doesn't make a habit of that shit!
Then again, I've been on horny lately...coulda been my shit was so wet and I was clenching and unclenching my cooch that she may have came without no dick insertion or finger play or tongue massage.............................maybe that's what the trickle was........maybe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was talking to Venom today about what an azz Slish is.... I told that man (the lil jamaican) that I didn't need for Venom to bring me to the BBQ. What that lil jamaican do?...calls Venom and begs him to "do the impossible".... yea, I put you on blast because you did it after I told you not to. AND you better be happy that's ALL I am putting you on blast for.... *batting eyelashes* Have fun at the BBQ! *sticking tongue out and getting spit all over you while I give you the Bx razz* Sidenote: for all you Slish fans....I ain't need to hear no she-ite, don't come to his defense....me and Slish go way back before most of y'all bloggers*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Normally, I am very clean....almost fanatical about it....but
I ain't lifted a fucking finger in my joint for two weeks. 'Cept the toilet and bathtub. Other than that...bed is unmade, clothes all over the place, and I didn't realize how much I drink...I have like 15 glasses and cups in my sink...da hell I be drinking? 'Cause I ain't got a damn thing in my frig.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One more pieace of pesonal information. Ok 3 more but they are all related to...thongs.
1. Today I had to wear a pair of lingerie panties because I am too lazy to go pick up my laundry from the wash house. Today I had on some bright yellow mesh panties from a babydoll I bought at VS.
2. I have 2 pair of full-booty draw'rs and 47 thongs, 6 tangas and 3 pairs of boy shorts. I need to buy more full-booty draw'rs before my ass catches a yeast infection. Then again...do you catch those or do they just form...or occur...or whatthefuckever.
3. Of those 47 pair of thongs....18 pairs are fucking to tight....does that mean they are too small, that mayhaps my waist and ass have gotten wider and flatter? Yes, my friend...you'd be correct. So I have 18 thongs that I could wear but it would be cutting off the air supply to Cooch...and gawd forbid my cooch should die of thong suffocation...hence, I have been wearing the lingerie panties (which really don't fit anyone because they are a "one size fit's all" or a generic S, M & L)
And since I did not AGAIN today go pick up the laundry...because why? It's a gajillion degrees...I will be wearing the non-fitting lingerie panties tomorrow. Which means...I will inevitably have to go to the store sometime tomorrow to buy some panties because it's suppose to be hotter tomorrow and I know my lil chubbyself ain't walking my little lazy flass around the corner to get my damn clothes...and although I could wear some more lingerie draw'rs on Friday...I will be seeing Zed for lunch and his little dirty perverted ass will have read this post and be thinking about me in lingerie the whole entire lunch! With that in mind, let me say this Zed....by Friday I should be wearing grandma draw'rs....and you know why women wear grandma draw'rs.............*yep...zaaaactly!* LMAO